Jeff

Well, we made it through Christmas AND a trip to the ER on New Year’s Eve! OMG! Let’s catch up, friends!

by Courtney on January 2, 2012

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Happy Thanksgiving! Happy Hanukah! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

Wow, I never got around to blogging during the holidays it seems. I only did one post in December. ONE! Jeez! Where the heck have I been? Well, in reality, the blog has pretty much suffered since I’ve gone back to work. I’m convinced that all mommy bloggers are stay at home moms. How else do you find the time to work AND be a mom AND keep up a weekly blog? Impossible! At any rate, the holidays are over, and hopefully that means I’ll have time to be a little more consistent on the blog. I know right? You’re welcome.

So, why don’t you grab a glass of wine and let’s catch up. It’s been a while.

Well, we made it through Christmas, traveled to Indiana and back, paid a visit to the ER on New Year’s Eve, and now we’re ready for the New Year. Little Miss Annabelle turned 5 months old on Christmas Day — she’s growing so fast! She, of course, had the largest pile of gifts at the end of the day on Christmas, complete with a new wardrobe and tons of new toys. It was so fun having her home around her grandparents, aunt, uncles, and cousins. She seemed to take to everyone with such ease, which inevitably made me sad that we can’t be around family all the time. I’m envious of people who live near their families and the grandparents can come to Tuesday night recitals or games when all that eventually starts. I now have the full court press on my parents to move from Indiana to California. If you know them, help a sistah out and put in a good word for Cali. I usually start with: It’s soooooo nice here, the sun always shines, and it’s like, warm with stuff to do.  (So unlike Indiana! Sorry, Indiana.)

Spending New Year’s Eve in the ER suuuuucks

We had nice little plans for the neighbors to come over and ring in the New Year with champagne after a nice steak dinner with just me, Jeff, and a sleeping Annabelle. (See picture to the left: bacon wrapped filets, crab, asparagus, baked potato, and good wine!) And then our night took a sudden turn of events…

Jeff was playing with Annabelle, letting her stand on the kitchen table while he held her hands above her head — she loves to stand. But you know, she’s not so coordinated yet, and she did a little wobbly move, losing her footing, and in Jeff’s attempt to hold her up, she bent her arm backward because of the direction she was falling. Cue the cries. She can usually be soothed pretty easily if she bumps into something or whatever, but this was different, she was super fussy for an extended period of time. And we noticed her right arm was limp, not responding to things like her left arm did. So we went to the after hours clinic, who then sent us to the ER for X-Rays. By the time we got to the ER, her arm was moving again and responding better, so the doctor didn’t think X-Rays were necessary. Turns out, she had what’s called a Nursemaids Elbow, which is extremely common in children under 5 years old. It’s easy for things to pop out of place when parents are holding their kids hands/arms. It actually happened to me when I was 2. Anyway, Little Miss was fine and I think her daddy was more hurt by the thought of hurting her. I was pretty much comforting him more than Annabelle! Now, two days later she’s back to normal, no hint of a sore arm. These things happen. I told Jeff that we’re going to make mistakes as parents and there will be accidents here and there, so we’ll just have to keep our cool and not beat ourselves up. BUT, it is a reminder to be more careful with her. It’s easy to get lazy and not always buckle her in her swing, or not always strap her down on the changing table — and then walk away for a second thinking she’ll be fine. So we’ll be more cautious from now on. We don’t want to be back in the ER any time soon…or ever.

Five months is a great baby age!

So here we are starting a New Year! It’ll be hard for 2012 to live up to my 2011, seeing as though I had such a fun, happy and healthy pregnancy, followed by the birth of my precious little Annabelle Grace. But I think this year will bring all sorts of new, fun things for us as parents. At 5 months, Annabelle is really showing her personality now. She’s just so smiley and happy all the time. Everywhere we go people comment about how happy she seems. She smiles at everyone and I feel like she’s starting to have a little sense of humor too. She makes me laugh and so I think she’s going to be a little ham, just like her daddy.

She’s talking up a storm these days, waking us up every morning now with her having a lively conversation with herself in her crib. Jeff rolls over and he’s all; “Ohmygawd, can you turn that monitor down so we can sleep longer?” But I think it’s so cute. Except when she screeches! She loves the sound of her own voice. She’s a mover and a shaker too. If you put her on her back, she’ll be on her belly in no time. If she’s on your lap, she’s bobbing back and forth like she’s teeter tottering trying to scoot off somewhere! It’s so cute! Of course to me, everything she does is mind blowingly adorable!

2012 Goals

Well, now that you’re all caught up on how we’re all doing with our growing bundle of joy, we can get back to regular blogging, hopefully! One of my 2012 goals is to blog more frequently; as I enjoy documenting my life as a new parent. And I want to open up my topics a bit more too. The other big goal is to lose these final pregnancy pounds! I’m close, so I plan to do a blog post soon on that topic as well. And I also have a girl’s trip to the Sundance Film Festival in a few weeks, so lots to blog about in the coming weeks. Stay tuned!

Happy New Year, may this be your best year EVER!

For fun, check out some of our family Christmas photos!

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The ups and downs of returning to work after baby

by Courtney on November 10, 2011

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Well, we did it. My first day back to work and Annabelle’s first day of day care is behind us. Thank God. I’d love to tell you that I was anxious about this day all for nothing and it all went swimmingly, but it didn’t. And if one of us had a bad day, I wish I could say it was me missing my daughter like crazy and she was just happy as a clam in her new setting. Unfortunately, she really struggled for a good portion of the day and my biggest fear came true – she wouldn’t take a bottle.

There’s nothing like getting a text message from your daycare center saying; “She was fine earlier, but she’s really upset now and won’t take a bottle. Should we call your husband? Is there anything we can do?”

WHAT! I was expecting them to be the pros! I don’t know, what do YOU guys think you should do – I thought you saw this all the time! Is Annabelle like some extreme case or something?? This is at 10:45am. We’ve got a long day to go.

Ay yi yi. Talk about a guilt-ridden working mama! I realize now that I didn’t try hard enough to get her to take a bottle with ease. I tried occasionally and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t. It would become a battle of the wills and if Annabelle got too upset I knew I could always stop pushing her and just let her drink straight from the tap. It’s hard to give tough love to a 3-month old baby when you know you can take the struggle away in a nano second. Everyone kept telling me – including the daycare lady – that if she’s hungry, she’ll eat. She won’t put up a fight forever. I figured they see this all the time and know all the tricks on getting a baby to take the bottle. But apparently Annabelle is a stubborn ‘lil chicki poo who only wants mommy’s boobies.

I called twice during the day and both times I hear her crying in the background. She was really putting her foot down in the morning, only eating 1 ½ ounces when she’d normally eat 4 oz. My husband even dropped in at 11:30 to try and feed her and she wouldn’t eat for him either. I decided that I can’t keep calling, they’re just going to have to deal with it and Annie B. is going to have to learn.

Needless to say; I was thrilled when Jeff offered to pick her up at 4:15 instead of waiting for me to get home at 5:45. Thankfully, the daycare lady said the day improved a bit, with Annabelle finally taking in a total of 6 oz. for the day. This is less than half of what she would normally take at this point. And to top it off, she slept a total of ONE HOUR all day!!!! She normally naps every hour and a half anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half! My poor little baby.

Obvy I was thrilled to pieces to see my little girl when I got home and pop her on the boob for a nice long 3 hour feeding. I think I kissed every inch of her face about 30 times over. She finally put her hand up to make me stop and then I was just kissing the inside of her wittle baby hand.

Work was kind of….nice

I thought for sure I was going to be a total mess dropping Annabelle off today. Hell, I was already crying last night before putting her in the swing for her evening nap. I didn’t want my last night of my maternity leave to be over. I tried to give myself plenty of time when we got there this morning so that if I had to leave and come back about 40 times, I could. It was a hectic first day because it was picture day at the center. Plus, the 8 o’clock hour is a busy drop off time for parents. So I didn’t really have time to stand there and dwell on what was happening, I had to get her stuff situated and leave for work. I shed a few quiet tears before leaving, but I just tried not to think about it as I walked out the door and got on the train.

Once I was at work everyone was stopping by my desk hugging me and welcoming me back. I caught up with my team on what’s been happening for the last four months, and it turns out life goes on without me. It was strange riding the train like a little professional and walking into my cube after being away so long. My calendar still said July. My phone rang and I looked at it like a caveman looking at a phone ringing – like, what the hell do I do with that??? Do I answer it?? Nah, I let it go to voicemail. Not that I remember how to check it.

The day was work-free and purely social with a couple pumping sessions in there – which I can see getting old REAL QUICK. All in all, I realized that I like going to work. I got a thrill from discussing some new marketing ideas for 2012 and going like 30 minutes having a conversation that had nothing to do with babies. I needed this.

Thankfully, I’m part-time for the rest of the year so I don’t go back to work until next Tuesday. Working definitely makes me appreciate my time at home so much more. I was so excited to get home for tacos, good TV, and holding little Annabelle. She is like Christmas morning to me.  

I’m going to work on the bottle issue this weekend and hopefully we can make a breakthrough. Eventually Annabelle will come to realize that when she’s at daycare she drinks a bottle and when she’s with mommy she drinks from the boobie. And I know she’ll grow to know and enjoy the daycare ladies and her new surroundings. Plus, the socialization she’ll experience will be so good for her. Like anything else, we all adapt. We thought having a newborn baby was tough that first week and then it become like second nature to be a parent. This is no different. For now, I’m just going to enjoy my long weekend with my baby girl and appreciate every minute I have with her. She’s such a gift.

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How life has changed 3 months into motherhood

by Courtney on October 16, 2011

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My, how time is flying by. I can hardly believe it, but Annabelle is officially 3 months old today! When everyone says “enjoy this time now because it won’t last long” – they aren’t kidding! Little AB is getting bigger every day and her personality is really taking shape. She is SO sweet and I just want to eat her up with a spoon! I think she’s going to have a good little sense of humor because she loves to smile and she’s on the verge of true giggles any day now. Everyone always comments on how happy she seems because she’s very generous with that little smiley face of hers’! We’ve finally gotten into a good little groove where I know her likes and dislikes; what works and what doesn’t; and what just about every cry means. All of this just in time for me to go back to work in a few weeks… *sighs*

When I think about what life would be like without Annabelle, I just can’t. It would seem so empty to me now. I mean, what the heck was I doing with all that time I had before?! Oh ya, obsessing over Twilight and Robert Pattinson. Having a baby certainly puts things into perspective, and you realize what’s important. Suddenly, the things that were so important to me pre-baby just aren’t anymore.

But who knew SO MUCH would change in my life after having a baby? I’m still the same girl, right?

I’ve been thinking over the last few days how much my life has changed since having Annabelle and how much I personally have changed. Annnnd I would say it’s a lot. I mean, everything revolves around the baby’s sleep and eating schedule now. I live my life in 3 hour intervals. Eat, play, sleep – repeat. I have limited freedom. Going to the movies is a luxury now, not a weekly habit. Dinners at restaurants now include constantly watching the baby and doing everything we can to ensure she stays quiet in her stroller so we can eat without having to take turns holding her. If we have the opportunity to go out to eat by ourselves, Jeff and I end up talking about Annabelle and looking at pictures of her on our cell phones the entire time!

Where’s the old me?

In terms of how I’ve changed; I definitely don’t have the same confidence as I used to. I’m at a plateau with my weight loss because I really need to start eating a healthier diet, but I guess I’m sort of finding comfort in “comfort food” in the midst of all these life changes. Like, as a new mom you don’t get a lot of time to yourself to enjoy things like getting your nails done, shopping, or even just reading books. But I do have time to go through the drive-thru at McDonalds and get a cheeseburger and fries! Mmmm! But I know; it’s so bad for me.

With my post-baby body still not being anywhere near where it needs to be, I’m not even trying in the fashion department. I just don’t even care. I feel like people look right through me as I walk around in yoga pants and a ponytail pushing my stroller. I donned a bikini at the pool the other day and I should’ve been mortified by my body, but I didn’t even care. I figured; no one is looking at me anyway! It bothers me because I used to be SO into fashion and looking my best.

Other than my lack of confidence and fashionable wardrobe; I find that all the fun I used to have in feverishly following pop culture happenings – namely, all things Twilight – isn’t as exciting to me now. I don’t visit Twilight blogs anymore or buy all the magazines that feature a ‘Robsten’ story. I’m even not counting down the days for Breaking Dawn – it’ll get here when it gets here is my new attitude! I don’t even make time to blog like I used to. My pop culture blog (Pop Culture Junkie) has all but died and I have no pull to revive it. And I’m not even blogging on Life At Thirtysomething as much anymore! What’s happening to me?? Blogging has been a huge passion of mine for the last 2 ½ years! Does everything about my life have to change since having a baby? Is there any semblance of the old me?

I think I’ve fallen into the same trap that most mothers do where they make it all about their baby. Once Annabelle is squared away napping in her swing, I have just enough energy to get on Facebook and veg out in front of the TV. I know I need to set some goals for myself to change my diet, try harder in the fashion department, and make time to do the things I love, like blogging and reading. Hopefully going back to work is going to give me the structure to my day where I have time to read on the train, go to the gym on my lunch break, and blog when Annabelle goes to bed. And of course, it’ll force me to get some cute clothes and not phone it in with the yoga pants everyday!

My my my, babies can certainly turn your world upside down. But that being said; I wouldn’t trade my new life for my old one. I may not be as fashionable or as thin as I used to be; but I’m a good mom and my baby is happy and that’s more important to me anyway. Being skinny would just be icing on the scrumptious kissable baby cake, and I’ll get there! :)

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Baby’s first plane ride – we made it! And OMG….SHE’S TEETHING!!!!

by Courtney on October 6, 2011

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I did good on the plane mommy!!

I was so nervous to take Annabelle on her first plane ride last Thursday. We had a 4 ½ hour flight from California to visit family in Indiana, and I was a freaking stress ball the whole day leading up to that plane ride. I lost sleep over it days before as I methodically planned out how our day was going to go; between feedings, diaper changes and what she was going to wear on the plane. I knew the altitude change could cause her some discomfort, so I wanted to be sure to feed her as soon as we took off so she was swallowing, which would help relieve the ear pressure. Buuut, of course Ms. Anna B. decides she wants to eat as soon as we got on the plane. NOOO! This isn’t how I planned it – she was supposed to wait for the plane to take off! Jeff was getting so irritated with me and told me to calm down and I replied back curtly: “Jeff, just deal with me, OK?” This is odd for me because usually I’m the laid back one and he’s the one always getting his panties in a bunch. But on this day, my panties were all bunched up.

Thankfully, the plane took off within 15 minutes of our departure time and AB was still hungry, so I poured her another bottle and she sucked away as we climbed to 30,000 feet. No big deal. She slept some, ate some more, looked around a bunch, pooped a couple whoppers in her dipe and I had to change her in the bathroom – which, thank the Lord, had a changing table (Virgin America)! I felt sorry for the poor woman in the aisle seat. I apologized in advance for any annoyance sitting next to a baby will surely cause. Recently, a girl in my mom’s group recounted an icky story about her baby’s first plane ride which included a bitchy ice queen in the aisle seat next to her. I was practically shitting myself when I realized we were in the window and middle seat. But halleluiah, aisle lady was a grandma just returning from visiting her newborn grandson – jack pot! Annabelle turned out to be a dream baby the entire flight. She never cried and when she started to fuss I just stuck her on the boob and all was well in the world. The noisy tikes were the toddlers. Especially the one directly behind us that had a penchant for screaming like the Boogie Man was jumping out of his closet. *sighs*

What the….teething at 10 weeks????

I'm not trying to be difficult, mommy! :(

SO, what do you think about the most when you go visit your family and you have a new baby? That’s right, BABYSITTERS! I had my week of baby free outings all planned out. Movies, football tailgating, date night, girl’s night – whatever. Hey, what are two sets of grandparents good for anyway? But I never even saw it coming………after trying to feed her a bottle several times to no avail, and noting the absorbanent amount of drool pooling on Annabelle’s chin in the last couple of weeks, we realized that she’s showing all the signs of TEETHING!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! The average baby starts teething at 7 months. Annabelle is not even 3 months yet!! Apparently early bloomers can teeth as early as 3 months, and in some cases, they may not cut a tooth for several months, but they’ll show signs early. I mean seriously, of all the weeks to go on a bottle strike, it’s the week when I have babysitters coming out of the woodworks? Child, this just ‘aint fair!

I guess the bottle’s nipple must hurt her sore gums when we try to stick it in her mouth and so she tongues it away and cries this heartbreaking cry of pain unlike the hungry or sleepy cry. And here I am getting up first thing in the morning and staying awake until midnight pumping bottles to have for all my baby free nights and it was all for nothing. Jeez, what does a formula fed baby do when she’s teething? Does she go on a bottle strike and just cry a million hungry cries? Does she eventually give in? I don’t know how those mothers get through this part. But I now feel chained to my baby. I was a nervous Nelly on date night last night. (Thankfully, she slept the whole time we were gone.) Today I ventured out to the mall to walk around and within an hour and a half I got a frantic phone call from my husband that went something like this: WHERE ARE YOU ANNABELLE IS CRYING GET YOUR BUTT HOME NOW JEEZ WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN I’M DYING MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!! So I rushed home feeling like I was in jail. Good grief, I hope this bottle strike biz doesn’t last long. I’ve gotta go back to work in 6 weeks!

But you know what the worst part of teething is so far? It’s that nothing feels better to my baby then gnawing on her mommy’s nipples to relieve some of the gum pain. GREAT. No, it’s awesome. Feels amazing. (OMIGAWD MY NIPPLES ARE DYING!!!)

Oh and the other amazing part is that I now have to take my baby tailgating in the Baby Bjorn on Saturday. Really, who wants to see a mom drinking a beer with her baby chilling on her chest and then breastfeeding a while later? People are judgey and mean. Screw it; I’m making Jeff hold her. People don’t judge father’s holding babies and drinking beer. It’s like, expected.

So this is my glorious vacay back home so far; a teething baby out of her element with a 3 hour time difference. Oh and, she’s suddenly showing favoritism and will only let mommy and daddy and my mom hold her. Anyone else gets cry face and bleeding ears. SUPER!

This goes to show that just when you thought you had it all figured out, your baby will throw you for a whole new loop, and you’re back to square one. *shrugs*

Oh well. I’m pouring a drink for myself — I need to numb the nips before baby’s next feeding.

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Deep thoughts on projectile poop, breastfeeding, and anxiety over being alone with the baby!

by Courtney on August 23, 2011

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Happy one month birthday to my baby girl, Annabelle! I can’t believe how fast time has flown by! It seems like just yesterday that I was in the hospital delivering this little cutie-pie and here we are, a month later! We’ve been lucky to have family in town for the last month helping out and giving us an extra set of hands so we can do other things here and there, like go on a date or run some errands. But as of today, we’re officially on our own – everyone is gone. :( And now I’m having anxiety about being alone with the baby for extended periods of time while my husband is back to work and traveling overnight. The morning and afternoon isn’t that bad being alone with baby, but it’s when we get into the early evening when she has her fussy time and she’s not napping and I need to make dinner, do some laundry – WRITE A BLOG POST – and she’s not having any of it!

“WAH! WAH! You better not put me down mama!!! WAH!”  – I imagine this is what her cries translate to.

I know every mom has to deal with this, but it just makes me nervous. Like, am I going to pull my hair out not being able to do much during the day other than hold, feed, and change the baby? Or will I feel horribly guilty for letting Annabelle cry it out a bit while I go to the bathroom, sit down for a meal, or take a shower? I don’t know how single moms do it, or moms of multiple babies!

Take cover from the…POOP! (Warning: TMI!)

Let’s talk about poop, specifically, projectile poop. We have a changing table in Annabelle’s room upstairs and then we’ve made a makeshift changing spot on our ottoman in our living room for convenience when we’re downstairs. But now we’re realizing this living room changing spot is a bad idea. At least three times this week we’ve had to clean projectile poop off our couch, SHAG rug (ew!), and Jeff’s shorts and legs from sitting right in front of the ottoman as he changes AB! She literally squirts shit out EVERY TIME SHE POOPS! And it happens like 3-4 times in ONE changing session. We’ve wasted so many diapers from thinking she’s done sharting and then she totally blows out a brand new diaper before we’ve even taped the second side of the diaper shut! So now, I sort of have to create a shield with the old diaper to catch the second and third coming of projectile poo that resembles split pea and sometimes butternut squash soup! This is a pain in the ass at 4am when I’ve just nursed her for 40 minutes and I’m so sleepy and just want to go back to bed! But, you know what, I love the little munchkin and she makes such cute little faces while pooping that I forgive her sharts.

The breastfeeding saga

Ok, so breastfeeding definitely gets easier than that first week, but I’ll be honest; it’s still a challenge for me. Sometimes it’s more painful than others, and for some reason, those painful times just happen to be at her 3am and 7am feedings! Ugh! At 4 weeks old, I think baby girl is going through a growth spurt, so she’s hungrier more often than the 3 hour schedule I’m trying to keep her on, and she wants to eat longer than 20 minutes on each side. That being said; I’m a little concerned because I don’t think she’s gaining much weight. She gained 12 ounces in one week in our last pediatrician appointment, so I thought she was well on her way to plumping up. Because of this, the doctor even gave me the green light to cut out the formula supplementing since her weight gain was going well. But then last week I weighed her and she weighed about the same as the week before! They say babies are supposed to gain about an ounce per day, so what’s wrong with this picture?? Is AB not getting enough breast milk? This is definitely frustrating because you try so hard to do this thing that is definitely a challenge and then you freak that you may not be producing enough milk! I’m going to call and make a lactation appointment with a consultant because I think I could use some tips on how to make this easier. AHHH! The breastfeeding saga continues…!

The good news is that I joined a mommy group and started it today. I’ll blog on that next because I think it’s going to be a life saver for me! There’s nothing like talking projectile poop, boob feeding challenges, sleep issues, etc. with other ladies that are going through the exact same things I’m going through! From here, mommy play dates will spin off and I’ll officially be in full on mommy mode with a packed schedule. I’ll need to go get a dry erase board for my kitchen wall to keep things organized! Oh, look at my life now!

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Mama Drama: Breastfeeding woes – more stuff no one ever tells you…

by Courtney on August 8, 2011

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Milk drunk!

To continue on with the theme of my last blog of the stuff no one talks about after childbirth, let’s talk about breastfeeding, and the stuff you just don’t ever hear about…

In pregnancy, you read all about breastfeeding in baby books, magazines, etc. and for me at least, it became a big source of anxiety. Aside from the positive nutritional benefits of breastfeeding, I also read that it’s a great way to lose the baby weight, so I was totally on board with this! That being said; there was SO much written about it, that I started psyching myself out for it.

From the minute the nurses guided my baby girl Annabelle to my boob to breastfeed for the first time, I felt the PINCH when she latched on. I guess I did read here and there that breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt if you have the proper latch, but I didn’t think anything of it before it became my reality. But now that I was here, with a baby hanging on, I was like; WHAT THE EFF THIS HURTS SO BAD!! Yet, the lactation nurses and regular nurses all took a look Annabelle’s latch and they all said it looked great! So basically, that whole “it shouldn’t hurt if you have the proper latch” bullshit is just that – BUUUUULLLLLLSHHIIIIITTT!

My nips became raw in no time. My baby has a strong suck and it was killing me one feed at a time! I quickly began to dread the feedings. And that’s not good because you’re supposed to breastfeed your newborn every 3 hours – and the 3 hours starts at the beginning of your feeding. So if you feed for around 40-50 minutes, you only have a 2 hour window to get things done around the house – or go to lunch, get a mani, etc. – before you’ve got to put baby back on the boob and start the process all over again. It’s exhausting.

By day two I already had a blister from Annabelle’s improper latch! So every feeding she was making it worse and worse. It got to the point where when we’d sit down to nurse and she’d latch on I’d literally get chills starting in my head that would shoot down to my toes. It was mind numbing!! And it didn’t get any better when we got home. Thank god I had pain killers to deal with the afterbirth. Hey, pain is pain!  (P.S. The pain meds won’t harm the baby in case you were judging . :) )

One thing that every new mom worries about when she’s breastfeeding is whether her milk has come in. They say it can take 3-5 days before it comes in (in some cases, maybe more), and so all your baby is eating in those first few days is colostrum. This is really amazing super milk juice for your baby, but as I mentioned in my previous blog, it’s only enough to line the baby’s stomach. So what did Annabelle do nonstop in those first 5 days? CRY, CRY, CRY! She was so dang fussy and Jeff and I were at our wits end. I of course had my tearful breakdown in the bathroom that every new mom surely has – I was at a loss for what to do!

The in home nurse came out for her routine visit 2 days after we left the hospital on Friday and gave me the news I was dreading… Annabelle had lost more than 10% of her birth weight, going from 7 lbs 5 oz to 6 lbs 7 oz. in 4 days. The nurse recommended I supplement her feedings with a one ounce bottle of formula. I cried. I wasn’t crying about giving her formula, it was more the feeling like I was starving my baby because my milk hadn’t come in yet. I was afraid if she had a bottle this early she’d have nipple confusion and prefer a bottle – which is easier to extract milk from than a boob – and she’d turn her nose up to breastfeeding. When I saw Jeff feed her a bottle for the first time and she sucked away excited as all hell to be eating something EASY and free flowing I literally had a guttural reaction and cried harder than I ever had. Jeff was shocked by my reaction – and so was I. I felt like I wasn’t good enough. But this reaction also was a result of raging hormonal changes that new moms go through after childbirth!

I’d heard that drinking a beer and using a warm compress on your chest can help with your milk letdown, so I settled into the couch on Friday night and had my first beer since November and heated up my boobies with a hot rag. And guess what….my milk came in! Whether it was a result of the beer or it was just that time, I was thrilled to the max. The first time I saw milk on Annabelle’s chin when I pulled her away from the boob I was over the moon – I even took a picture!! I supplemented her feedings with that one ounce bottle after every feeding and by Monday Annabelle was back to her birth weight of 7 lbs 5 oz! I quickly learned that a well fed baby is a happy baby – and a sleepy baby! Things changed for the better rather quickly after this feeding change up.

Ways to relieve nursing pain

1)      Take a hot shower in the morning – or before a feeding – and that will help sort of numb your chest a bit.

2)      Drink a beer at night before her bedtime feeding. It relaxes you and warms you up.

3)      Find a good spot in your house with lots of pillows or a Bobby pillow that can help bring the baby to your boobs. Whatever you do, don’t slouch forward thinking your milk will pour out like a pitcher of iced tea! This is what I did and my back got so bad that I’ve already seen the chiropractor twice in the last 2 weeks!

4)      Did I already mention pain killers? At least in the first week (or two)! And then Ibuprofen should suffice after that!

5) *UPDATE* I just discovered Medelo tender care hydrogel soothing gel pads for your nips! They provide a cooling sensation after a feeding, which is great, because if you’re like me, your nips feel like they’re sunburned after a feeding! Plus, there feels like a medicated effect as well. Two days after using the product, my nipples are a lot less sensitive after a feeding. AWESOME!!

Two weeks later, I’m just learning to toughen up with the breastfeeding. There’s always that little sting at the initial latch, but as long as I’m supporting the baby well then I quickly get used to the feeling and the pain fades to a tolerable amount – especially if I have a distraction, like talking on the phone, watching TV, writing thank you cards, etc.

Why stick with breastfeeding if it’s painful?

A happy milk drunk!

Let me just say that I was on the verge of formula within a couple days because I couldn’t stand the pain. But what kept me going was the look on Annabelle’s face when she was nursing. She just looked so content and happy. I have fallen in love with her profile because that’s the angle I spend so much time looking down at during the day. She just looks so precious and this has become our little mommy and daughter bonding time every day. Despite the discomfort of nursing, it’s also my favorite thing to do with my baby. So my advice to new moms who plan to breastfeed is to stick with it and you’ll get past the initial pain and suffering! I’m not in the clear in a pain free zone yet myself, but I hear I’ll eventually get there and I feel like I’m on my way, so I’m just looking forward to that time!

I hope this doesn’t scare expecting moms who are reading this blog, but I just wanted to share my experience thus far and keep it real for you. As I’ve said; everyone says it does get better and so second nature that you do it in a snap and don’t feel pain anymore. You just have to get over the initial hump! So keep with it, mama!

If you breastfed, do you have any suggestions for getting through those early days of nursing?

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The birth story of Annabelle Grace, my new baby girl!

by Courtney on August 1, 2011

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After 41 long weeks of pregnancy, my baby girl has finally arrived into this world! I’ve blogged about my entire pregnancy; from finding out I’m preggers to wondering if my baby was ever going to be born being that she was a week late! So folks, I’m super excited for you to finally meet my Stage 5 Clinger – little Ms. Life Changer – Annabelle Grace! She was born on Monday, July 25th at 8:56am, weighing in at 7 lbs and 5 oz and is 19.5” long. She’s a total baby doll. Precious as can be – sweet as pie – and cute as the cutest button! There’s so much to say right now that I almost don’t know where to begin! But since this is her birth story, we’ll back up a week ago to Sunday the 24th, when I went into the hospital for my scheduled induction.

Even though I had a scheduled induction, I was still holding out hope that I’d go into labor naturally up until the last hour before leaving for the hospital. I just wanted to experience labor pains and my water breaking and nervously going to the hospital, excited for what’s about to happen. I wanted the element of surprise, which I wasn’t getting with an induction. But it is what it is – my Stage 5 Clinger wasn’t budging. Jeff and I arrived at 8pm and within an hour or so, I had a Foley Balloon inserted which is supposed to help the cervix mechanically open, preparing me for a pitocin injection at 5am on Monday morning, which would force contractions to start. Despite the fact that I was 41 weeks pregnant, I was still only 1 centimeter dilated and about 70% effaced. The nurse said she expected me to deliver my baby sometime Monday evening.

Not going to lie, the insertion of the balloon hurt like hell. As soon as the doctor left, I cried. I was thinking; OH GOD, if I’m crying over this, how the hell am I going to handle labor? It’s going to be a long night! I felt like a wimp. The nurse told me I’d experience some mild cramping from the balloon, but I noticed not too long after the balloon was inserted that I started feeling contractions and they’d last maybe 45 seconds and come and go every 3-4 minutes. I asked my nurse if it was possible for Mother Nature to step in at the same time I’m here to be induced and I could go into labor before the pitocin shot. She said it was unlikely since this was my first baby. But I was sure I was having contractions because it was more than “mild cramping”. As the pain increased, I asked what kinds of pain meds were available. I felt like the nurse was thinking I was a total pussy because in her mind I wasn’t even having contractions and I was already asking about narcotics and epidurals! So she gave me some pain drug that made me feel totally high as a kite and it did numb me…for a bit. But then my contractions got stronger and they felt really trippy being on this pain drug. The pain got worse and I was telling my judgey nurse to get me an epidural stat! I didn’t care if I hadn’t even had my pitocin shot, I was suffering!  It’s all a bit of a haze, but about 1 or 2am, the anesthesiologist came in to save my day. I was a little nervous about the epi shot because of all the hoopla surrounding it and how big that needle is that people always talk about. But hell, I never even saw the needle because dude was behind me! And with my level of pain, it literally felt like a freaking bee sting! It was a joke! Ladies – don’t’ fear the epidural shot. It’s nothing! Within about 20 minutes or so, the lower half of my body was numb. Relief!

Then, I slept.  And slept…

The nurse would come in periodically through the night/early morning to check me, and by about 4am she informed me that I was now 5 ½ centimeters dilated and will not need a pitocin shot anymore! Ha! So I was right – Mother Nature stepped in before the pitocin injection had a chance to come near me – awesome! Then, I went back to sleep. By about 7:30am on Monday my new, nicer nurse (shift change) came in and told me that I was now 10 centimeters dilated and will be pushing as soon as the doctor gets there. I’m all; WTF? So aside from those 1-2 hours of horrid contractions pre-epidural, I slept through my entire labor? How. Freaking. Awesome. Around 8:15am my nurse said we should do some practice pushes, so we got into position — by the way, this moment is so surreal to me because it’s what I’ve seen in movies and on TV my entire life, but I could never actually picture myself in this position — and I pushed. The nurses were impressed, telling me I was a great pusher and they could already see the head!!! But we needed to wait a little longer for the doctor. I was like; do we really need a doctor anyway? By 8:30 the doctor arrives and I have 4 sets of pushes (which have 3 rapid pushes in a row per set) and my baby is born – 25 minutes later! *Tears*

Holy swollen mama!!!! But look at that wittle girl....!

It was a bit scary for a couple minutes because she wasn’t crying. Suddenly, it went from a room of 4 people to about 15 people, either working on the baby or working on me. They told me the baby was just stunned because when she came out the chord was wrapped around her neck twice. This has always been my fear. But soon she was crying and they were placing her on my chest. I did that ugly cry thing where I close my eyes and try not to cry but I fail miserably and just look pitiful as I sit there shaking in silence! But obviously they were tears of pure joy to finally hold my baby – that little thing that had been kicking and hiccupping and rolling around inside me for all those months! I couldn’t believe I was finally meeting her. And she had my nose…and my lips! When you’re able to see a reflection of yourself in your baby so fast like that, it’s………………….it’s hard to explain the miracle of it all…

My next blog will be a part 2 of this birth story to discuss what nobody ever seems to talk about – the after birth. And breastfeeding…oh the breastfeeding….. (ouch!) Ya, nobody ever talks about the “ouch” part either!

What’s in a name?

The name Annabelle Grace has a special meaning for me. Back in 2006, my Granny passed away and I was absolutely devastated. She was the classic grandmother that cooked the best Southern food and doted on me just as a grandmother should. I was HER stage 5 clinger when I was a kid! :) When she passed, I told Jeff immediately that I wanted to name my future daughter after her. And her name was Anna Grace. But when I moved to California 4 years ago my boss at the time was named Anna, and suddenly the name reminded me of work! So for a while I kind of lost interest in the name. When I found out I was pregnant I was reading a list of top baby names and I really loved the name Isabella, but it was the #2 baby name in 2010. I just didn’t want her to have the same name as 5 other girls in every classroom she’s in growing up. I moved all the way down the list and my eyes landed on name #73, Annabelle. There it is, I thought. This is the perfect combo of my two favorite names. I could pay homage to my Granny but the baby will still have her own name. I added Grace as the middle name and ta-dah, Annabelle Grace it is. And I love it so much.

Thanks for reading!

{ 11 comments }

Patience is a virtue…

by Courtney on July 21, 2011

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Nope, I have not had my baby yet. Yes, my due date was Monday the 18th, and today is FRIDAY the 22nd. And I’m still f-r-e-a-k-i-n-g pregnant!

The anti-climatic passing of my due date has caused me to feel somewhat depressed in the past few days. I wake up every morning at 9am with the sun shining in and no contractions or a soaked bed under me (you know, from water breaking!) and I just pout as a lie there. I’m almost through three full weeks of maternity leave with no freaking baby! There’s only so much you can do to pass the time before it starts feeling like Groundhog’s Day and you’re doing the same thing over and over again. The highlight of my day is going to the dog park with my husband and red puppy and walking the 20 minute loop around the park. That’s about it! And then every few days or so I go to the pool and do my own little version of water aerobics to help with flexibility. Today, Jeff said he was going to the gym and I wined; “Well, what am I supposed to do?” And he said I should go to the pool. I then said; “I’m so sick of the pool.” And Jeff’s all; “Who says that???”  

The hard part is that throughout this whole journey you look toward this arbitrary delivery date that your doctor gives you and everything revolves around that date. You begin to love the sound of that date…the number becomes perfect to you – it’s going to be your child’s birthday! And then when the date comes and goes with zero fanfare, it’s SO deflating. And then people are constantly calling, emailing, texting, Facebook stalking trying to find out the latest news and all I can say over and over again is: No baby. Annnnnd it can definitely add to your depression/frustration over this whole lack of a baby situation! Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s really sweet that so many people are interested. I just didn’t realize HOW MANY people were this interested! It’s pretty cool actually.

The bottom line, I will have the baby by or before Monday, July 25th – my official induction date. So I’ll be a mommy in 4 days or less. So when I say it like that, it makes this entire blog post sound kind of complainy for complaining sake! But I think those ladies that have had late babies can attest to the feelings I’m feeling. It doesn’t matter that you know the baby is eventually coming; it’s just that you can’t wait to meet your little one that even one more day is too many days to wait!

But now I’m trying to just be patient and enjoy my final days, baby free. Patience is a virtue they say. Soon, I will be doing ‘round the clock feedings, diapering, and sleeping – all with a super packed schedule that is recommended in my current baby book “The Baby Nurse Bible”. After reading this schedule, it really opened my eyes to the hard work this is going to be – not that I ever thought it was going to be a cake walk! But there’s something about seeing a 24 hour schedule laid out for you in half hour intervals that include; “Mom, take a shower”, which definitely makes reality set in. Sooooo…maybe I should shut up about going to the pool?

Alrighty peeps, this will be my last blog post before the baby is born! I’ll try to get my birth story out as soon as I can find some free time to blog after the baby is born! Hmm….free time after the baby is born…. Perhaps these are mutually exclusive things here? Ha! Well, I’ll do my best! I’m sure my excitement over sharing the news will help me power through! Talk to you on the other side!

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Ok baby…it’s your due date…WHERE ARE YOU??? Oh fine – check out my 40-week baby bump!!!

July 17, 2011
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Today is July 18, 2011…
Do you know why this date is significant, dear readers? Well, today is my baby’s DUE DATE!!! Today is the day I’m supposed to meet my baby girl…the love of my life, the apple of my eye – the doll that I get to dress up every day for at least [...]

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Baby Nursery in waiting…

July 12, 2011
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I have never prepared for anything more in my life than for having a baby. Ok, a wedding is a very close second because that was a year and a half in the making and included loads more money, pre-marriage counseling with a priest, pre-cana courses, moving in together, and a body overhaul that included [...]

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