by Courtney on May 16, 2011
Lately I’ve been so impatient it’s not even funny. I’ve been feeling a little bit stressed trying to finish up the baby nursery in time for my shower this weekend at my house, so I think the combination of trying to pack all the expenses of filling the nursery into such a short time span, plus working later at work in the past week and not getting to the gym has made me feel kind of…down. I read recently that sometimes women experience a bit of the “baby blues” in their third trimester of pregnancy. When I first read that I thought; “Huh, that’s weird – the baby isn’t even here yet, how is that the baby blues?” But I’m starting to understand the emotion…
I’d say a bulk of the stress inducing blues comes from the shower/nursery planning. It’s hard to get into nursery decorating early when it still feels like you have so much time. And then you decide to have the shower at your house and suddenly it’s a mad dash to get the room ready in time! I’ve got to give my husband some major props because he has been a task master machine when it comes to putting together the baby furniture, hanging pictures and new curtain rods, gardening – the list goes on and on! He’s been really great and I so appreciate all his help with relatively little complaining on his part! Well, I guess what he has recently complained about is me, more specifically – my moodiness! I totally understand and feel guilty, but look; you try directing someone hanging pictures in the very specific way that you want them with the limited patience that I have right now! It’s tough!
And then you add in the constant presence of my little stage five clinger – my dog, Indy – and you can imagine how at times he gets in mama’s way! As I’m moving about my house Indy is always right under my feet moving with me every step of the way. And it’s driving me CRAZY! You need to understand that this guy is my baby. He’s been my pride and joy for the last 2 ½ years, but lately, he’s just in the freagin’ way. I feel like I’m being mean to him by constantly telling him to get out of my way and then I feel guilty afterward and have to get down to his level and apologize to him and blame my moodiness on this little syndrome called “pregnancy”. I hope he understands!
This is so not me!
I’m seriously the most laid back person ever; I just go with the flow and don’t let things get to me. If I have no control over something then I don’t get my panties in a bunch about it, I just move on. This attitude has allowed me to be even keel for as long as I can remember. But these days, I feel like I’m a walking ball of frustration. My poor mom is often the person I call to complain about every little thing that is going wrong or not my way. I’m sure at some point she’s going to start screening her calls and not answer when she sees my name on the caller ID! Sorry mom!
The annoying part about all this moodiness is that I’m aware of it but I can’t help my reactions to some things! It’s not like off the chain or anything, but for someone who is so easy going like me, it’s definitely strange to feel a myriad of Debbie Downer emotions like stress, frustration, impatience, and gluttony all the time. I’m guessing this is in some way what it feels like to have the “baby blues” or just the blues in general. I really miss the old positive me. Hopefully this too will pass and when the baby comes I’ll get back to my normal self soon!
Baby bump watch continues – week 31!
Only 9 more weeks to go! I can’t believe we’re in single digit numbers now, how crazy? According to Babycenter.com, the baby is heading into a growth spurt now, measuring over 16 inches and weighing about 3.3 lbs – or the weight of about 4 navel oranges. She’s moving a lot now and it’s begun waking me up in the middle of the night! There have been a few nights where I’ll wake up because she’s going crazy in my belly, doing summersaults and kicking like Billy Blanks! The other night she was moving at machine gun speed doing who knows what at 4am, so I put Jeff’s hand on my belly even though he was dead asleep. After about 15 seconds, in a groggy voice in the dark I hear; “Whoa, that’s actually kinda freaky!” HA!
Did anyone else feel a rush of hormones in their third trimester that made them feel a little out of whack?
by Courtney on March 22, 2011
Each week Babycenter.com has a suggested activity for moms-to-be, and this week it’s to write a letter to your baby. Jeff was quick to say this was a great idea and that I should do it. So I figured; alrighty, this could also be a blog post! And I don’t know what it’s going to say yet…but pardon me if it’s super mushy…
Dear Baby Girl,
With each passing day that I’m carrying you around with me I feel like I get to know you more and more. By now, I know that your favorite time of the day has got to be around 3pm because it’s your most active. And this is a new development, but I know that you hate when I have a full bladder and try to send that one extra email at work before running to the restroom because, well, it obviously takes up space in your little house! You’re all; “MOM, get rid of this thing!” all while consistently kicking my bladder causing me to have to get up because you won’t leave me alone! It makes me laugh because you’re already bossing your mama around! Grrrreeeaaaaaattttt – it’s starting! When I walk into the restroom for the umpteenth time of the day at work and catch my profile in the mirror, I rest my hand on my belly and marvel at how freaking cute you are – and I don’t even know what you look like! But you make a really cute little baby bump, baby!
I find it so fascinating how life works itself out. Before you came along I was really enjoying life. I was doing things that I found fun, constantly seeking the next self-indulgence that usually had something to do with satisfying my pop culture obsessions, like concerts, movies, traveling, anything to do with TWILIGHT, etc. I loved margaritas, cosmos, Bud Light, and Sauvignon Blanc and often my friend and I would question whether it was bad that all of our activities seemed to be built around drinking!! I knew your daddy was itching for a baby but your mama was itching for some more *time* to experience all the fun that life had to offer before you came along. It may sound selfish, and it probably is, but it’s better to experience life then to wish you’d done things differently. Let that be your first piece of advice from your mom. I believe the saddest phrase in the English language is “I wish I would have”. So baby girl, live life to the fullest with as few regrets as possible!
But then fate stepped in and, like you were meant to be, you made yourself known to me in November 2010, in New Orleans of all places! Seeing the word “Pregnant” on that little plastic stick really overwhelmed me and I wondered if I was ready to be a mom. But now, all these months later, I can’t imagine my life any differently than it is right now – with you growing inside, kicking my bladder, making me fat, and me day dreaming of a little girl all day.
I have a feeling that I’m going to be a really good mom to you. I had a super amazing example of what mommies are supposed to be like from my mom (your ‘Mimi’ – what your Grandma would prefer to be called!), and my own Granny – who I soooo wish you could’ve met. I promise to listen to you, to support your dreams, to shower you with lots of TLC, and to make you laugh. And someday, when you’re older, I hope to be your best friend. But hold on – you’re not just going to have a good mommy. You’re going to have a great daddy too! You have no idea how excited I am to see you turn this big Type A bear of a guy into a mushy little teady bear! He’s going to be the best daddy you could hope for, I just know it. I can tell because throughout my pregnancy with you, he’s been the best husband imaginable! So he’s proving he’s got the chops to be a great daddy to a baby girl. Lucky you, girlfriend!
Let’s not forget your big brother who will surely love you and protect you – Indy, the beautiful red Viszla! And of course you’re going to have a Mimi and Grandpi, and Grammy and Papaw, two uncles, an aunt, and a cousin (and extended family too!) who are ready to go nuts over you! Basically, when you come into this world you will be loved more than you’ll ever know.
So that’s all I wanted to say, baby girl. I’m so excited to meet you and to hold you for the first time. Maybe I’ll even read this aloud to you one day when you’re a few weeks old – or when you’re 22. Thanks for coming into my life when you did… you’re so very special to me.
Love, me
by Courtney on March 17, 2010
What can I say? We’ve known each other for ten years now and we’ve had some great times. It’s been with you that I’ve had my pivotal years of maturity and growth. As much as I’m trying to tout this new chapter in my life called the “dirty thirties” as an exciting new place to be, I can’t pretend that I’m not going to miss you just a little bit. So before I leave you, I thought I’d give a proper goodbye.
When we met, I was an unabashed college student in Indiana with hardly a care in the world. I made some of my best friends to this day in that first year, learned how to live with 100 girls, and realized that the attitude “my way is the right way and your way is the highway” no longer works in this new setting.
With you, I graduated college and embarked on a new chapter into the unknown…the chapter of responsibility. I had my first job and quickly realized it’s not the right job. Then I had a job that was way over my head, struggled with the learning curve, and finally found my way.
A little more than halfway through our time together, I got married to my long time boyfriend, Jeff, and within a year, we shipped off to sunny California. I spent a year and half working in corporate retail where I thought it was going to be all fashion and glamour and realized it’s nothing but stress and overtime. It was here that I grew a set of balls, walked into my boss’ office and told her where this job could go. Ok, I didn’t really say that. But I told her I didn’t love it. And if I’m going to spend half my life at a job, I need to love it. And now, I love my job.
I became a mom to a beautiful red puppy named Indy and he’s been my pride and joy, or what I like to call my “training wheels” for the real mommy job! And in my final year with you, I entered the blogosphere and found that I have an intense passion for writing and creating this little space that is whatever I want it to be.
On my 29th birthday I got a little freaked out at the prospect of leaving you, because I’ve always seen you as the definition of youth. When I was younger, my mom would apply her makeup in the mirror side by side with me, and she’d look at me and say; “Courtney, I used to have eyes like yours.” I’d of course roll my eyes and complain that she needs to just accept getting older and aging! Ew! What a brat I was! But now I understand. Because now I have laugh lines — and like five gray hairs!
Turning thirty represents a whole new set of unknown chapters which will likely trump any challenge I’ve had to date; such as (God willing) having a baby, raising a solid kid, being a steady and reasonable mom, and balancing a career, family, and home. I’m excited for this next phase of my life and downright jubilant at the possibilities.
I’ve accepted the passing of my twenties now and learned to embrace my thirties with confidence and humor. Some people might say they were ready to kiss their twenties goodbye, like I might say I was ready to kiss high school goodbye. But I’ll always have a soft spot for the carefree, career newbie, bride to be, Midwestern girl gone Cali that was my twenties.
So long twentysomething. Hi thirty, it’s nice to meet you.
by Courtney on February 26, 2010
My high maintenance dog just puked – for the second time tonight. I’m talking big (smelly) chunks. TMI? Maybe, but I wanted you to feel my pain. I felt bad watching Jeff clean it up – twice. It did look disgusting. Of course we’re thinking; what’s wrong with him this time? Hell if we know. This is just a string of issues we’ve had with this little red dog since bringing him home in December 2008.
I’d like you to meet Indy, our little short bus puppy.
I say that lovingly, because this little guy is my baby. And he’s such a BAAAAAABY. Indy is a highly exuberant 16-month old Vizsla who loves to play games, such as stealing your underwear or socks and playing “catch me if you can”. He’s a major attention monger, a smart ass cookie, and he’s so full of emotion that I swear he’s part human. I’m not even kidding! He’s unlike any dog I’ve ever had growing up. We love him like a child, but damn, if it isn’t one thing with him – it’s another!
This week he’s already been to the local vet school at the University of California, Davis for his allergy problems. He’s currently on a “food trial” of rabbit food and potatoes. Back in December he caught “kennel cough” from the local dog park, and before that it was eye problems, a thinning coat, a bumpy coat, and the list goes on and on.
I should mention that Indy was the “pick of his liter” among his puppy liter of seven other Vizslas. To the unknowing, that’s a big deal for people who care about that stuff, like our breeder. She wanted us to have Indy because she thought we’d be total suckers and let her turn him into a show dog. And we did.
But with all these problems Indy’s been having, we haven’t heard from her in months! So my question is; can we chop off his dingle berries now? Seriously, my dog has embarrassingly big balls. Beyond six months or so people start to judge you for not having your dog neutered. Like, “What a bad dog owner for not taking care of that! They are the reason we have so many unwanted stray dogs in this country!” So naturally, every time we introduce Indy to anyone we immediately call attention to his balls and explain that it’s not our fault that they still exist. In case you didn’t know, show dogs have to be “fully in-tact”.
Anyway, my point is; Indy is a handful and a half. He’s always got something wrong with him. He may have been the pick of his liter, but Indy definitely has the runt’s genes! But you know what; I don’t want the “show dog”. I want my little runt. High maintenance or not, this is the coolest dog I’ll ever have. And I just wanted you to meet him. He’ll be a reoccurring character in my blog story!
Oh look who it is! Somebody’s been hiding under the bed upstairs for the last hour all shameful for his barf-athon tonight. Now he wants to make amends. He just crawled up next to mama as she writes a blog about him. What a wittle sweetheart…
Lately I’ve been so impatient it’s not even funny. I’ve been feeling a little bit stressed trying to finish up the baby nursery in time for my shower this weekend at my house, so I think the combination of trying to pack all the expenses of filling the nursery into such a short time span, plus working later at work in the past week and not getting to the gym has made me feel kind of…down. I read recently that sometimes women experience a bit of the “baby blues” in their third trimester of pregnancy. When I first read that I thought; “Huh, that’s weird – the baby isn’t even here yet, how is that the baby blues?” But I’m starting to understand the emotion…
Only 9 more weeks to go! I can’t believe we’re in single digit numbers now, how crazy? According to Babycenter.com, the baby is heading into a growth spurt now, measuring over 16 inches and weighing about 3.3 lbs – or the weight of about 4 navel oranges. She’s moving a lot now and it’s begun waking me up in the middle of the night! There have been a few nights where I’ll wake up because she’s going crazy in my belly, doing summersaults and kicking like Billy Blanks! The other night she was moving at machine gun speed doing who knows what at 4am, so I put Jeff’s hand on my belly even though he was dead asleep. After about 15 seconds, in a groggy voice in the dark I hear; “Whoa, that’s actually kinda freaky!” HA!
