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“Baby proofing” is laughing at me for not baby proofing yet.

by Courtney on May 9, 2012

Ever since Annabelle started crawling about a month ago my whole world has turned upside down. The days where I could plop my ‘lil bubba on the ground in front of her toys while I throw in a load of laundry, put clothes away, go to the bathroom, etc. all while she blissfully played in one spot are a thing of the past. Seriously, those days seemed almost Camelot-like compared to the constant re-directing, disciplining, and rescuing I’m doing now. Yes, I said rescuing. Listen, babies get into shit when you’re not looking. They crawl a lot faster than your little mind can comprehend!!

In the last two days alone I have caught Annabelle in an act that had my future heart attack written all over it. Yesterday I came into my room and found her standing next to the wall with the TV plug in her hand about to pull it out of the wall socket — while the TV was on! I literally ran up to her and yelled “NOOOOO ANNABELLE” hoping my loud voice would stop her dead in her tracks. Thankfully it did. Immediately my inner conscience called me a lazy, no good mother who is sitting on my ass when I should be baby-proofing those damn outlets.

Then, tonight I put Annabelle down in my room in front of her little play gym while I did some laundry. Yes, I saw her crawling out of my room but I figured if she was going toward the stairs I had enough time to throw the clothes in the dryer and hit the start button. Idk why I can’t accept that Annabelle is a speed demon crawler, but as I walked out of the laundry room Annabelle was literally on the edge of the staircase reaching her little hand out into thin air because there was no more floor under her, just a lower step. I screeched “ANNABELLE NOOOOOOOOOOOO” in what sounded like slow motion to me as I ran and scooped her up before she took a tumble. Again, my inner conscience shamed me stupid. THAT’S IT! It’s time for baby gates — those annoying, fugly baby gates that are going to prevent any future tumbles down the stairs and totally clutter my house.

Now, if only my husband could get on board with baby proofing. For some reason he thinks it’s nonsense and asks me if I thought my parents baby proofed their house back in the day when I was a baby. I told my mom this and she was like; “DUH, I baby proofed!” I’m realizing now that Jeff’s attitude is more about not wanting to clutter up our house with gates and play pins and he’s not thrilled with the mundane task of covering electrical outlets, covering cords, adding drawer stoppers, moving cleaning solution to higher levels, bolting furniture to the wall, etc. Essentially, Jeff has been fighting the clutter for 9 months. He needs to just give into the chaos. So of course I made sure to explain to him how Annabelle almost gave me a stroke pulling plugs out of outlets and falling down the stairs in the last two days. I think he gets it.

Now, if only there was a baby proofing person from Babies ‘R Us that could come into my house and just baby proof it for me so I don’t have spend an entire weekend covering cords! Ugh!

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The iPhone is my new Annabelle.

by Courtney on April 4, 2012

Move over Annabelle, I’ve got a new baby: the iPhone 4S.

Ok, so I’m just kidding about that — my new iPhone has not replaced my baby girl, Annabelle. My brother actually told me that with a straight face (well, over text), and then he said this phone would change my life. Pfft, phone! This is hardly a phone — it’s like a mini computer that just so happens to call people. My old Blackberry was a phone that moonlighted as an internet occasionally, but it sucked a fatty and had the worst camera phone.

Herein lies the main reason I wanted an iPhone: the camera. I’ve heard the iPhone camera is pretty much as good as any little point and shoot digital camera, and I’m taking pictures of Annabelle like the paparazzi, so I need a good camera phone. For 8 whole months I’ve taken grainy, crappy little pics of my baby girl with no flash on my CrapBerry and I’d had enough. So my husband got me a super nice Nikon 1 camera for Christmas, but I hate to say it; it’s too dang complicated and I don’t know how to use it. When it comes to technology, I enjoy the K.I.S.S. method — Keep It Simple Stupid.

The iPhone couldn’t be more simple and user friendly to use. I love that pretty much all mobile technologies out there are catered to this phone – especially Apps. I didn’t think I was an App girl, but one App I couldn’t wait to get my sticky fingers on was Instagram, which is only made for iPhones and Droids. Whether you’re taking every day pics or super cool vacation photos, Instagram allows you to give it a really cool hue so that it looks all artsy, like you used a photo enhancing program like Photoshop. And so now I kind of look like a little photographer when I post daily pics of my baby girl and my dog on Facebook. Love it.

I thought I’d do a little picture spam post of my favorite Instagram pics I’ve taken so far. FYI, I was not paid by iPhone or Instagram to do this post, but I totally should have been since I’m positive I’ve just sent legions of new customers to the nearest cell phone store to pick up their baby iPhones!

P.S. I realize that iPhones are nothing new and probably half the population owns one now, but it’s new to me so I had to share. Plus, this was just an excuse to post cute pics of my ‘lil buba!

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When your baby inflicts pain on you comparable to labor, and you still can’t hug them enough — you know it’s love.

by Courtney on February 22, 2012

Don't be fooled by these cute little fingers, they inflict PAIN!

Little by little, my 7-month old baby’s hands are becoming like painful weapons at the end of her arms. When I’m nursing her, she now utilizes several torture techniques brought on by those cute little chubby fingers; such as pinching her mama’s arms and chest. OUCH! Seriously, she leaves little purple pinch marks all over my chest! Um, HELLOOOO, doesn’t she see how nice I’m being feeding her from my own body??! I want to scold her and tell her; “NO PINCHING, ANNABELLE!” But how scary does this sound in a cute little baby voice from mama? She just cheeses at me with those five little baby teeth and I simply cannot be mad at Little Miss. When she’s not pinching me, she’s swatting at my chest mid nursing session. She’s obviously becoming very tactile with those weapons hands, and she loves to swing them and make placement on something that makes noise. Babies love cause and effect. They’re clearly thinking; I hit this and that slapping sound happens – HAHAHA! They’re harmless little humans, but who knew they were capable of inflicting such agony? Well, I found out first hand this past weekend how capable they really are….

As my husband was handing little Annabelle to me to start our morning nursing session on Sunday, my Little Miss’s hands and fingers just happened to be at the wrong spot at the wrong time (or maybe it was my face?) and her little baby finger with razor sharp nails poked me in the eye, effectively slicing my cornea, sending me straight to the ER!

O-M-G, I was BLIND, literally walking around my house like Stevie Wonder, with a bandana around my head trying to keep my right eye shut, as my left eye strained to stay open to lead me through my house and to the hospital. In the ER, they pried my eye open and gave me numbing eye drops so they could examine my condition, and sure enough, baby Annabelle wreaked havoc on my eyeball, slicing my cornea (the black center of my eye) from end to end! They gave me a vision test, and I couldn’t see anything below the giant ‘E’ on the top of the vision chart. I was having shooting images of myself blinded for life, not being able to see my little girl grow up and I was feeling utterly sad and sorry for myself! Annnnd then the numbing drops wore off, and I was bent over in pain, feeling sick to my stomach and wondering if this pain was worse than getting that Foley Balloon inserted into my vajajay to induce labor! It was THAT BAD. Not gonna lie; I literally cried like a baby on the car ride home!

It may have been one of the longest days of my life. Just picture a day where you can’t watch TV, read a book, surf the Internet — or do anything visual. You’re basically stuck in your head ALL DAY, and the clock moves at a snail’s pace. Fortunately, the eye is the fastest healing body part, so by day two my eye was back to about 80%, and by Tuesday as I returned to work, I was good to go. Man, what a freak thing! Despite my painfully shitty Sunday, the only thing that brought me happiness and forced me to pry that damn eye open was to feed and play with my little AnnieB. Yep, despite her little fingers debilitating me for 24 hours, I still couldn’t hold her, hug her, and kiss her enough — now that’s love! I’ll just be A LOT more careful about those chubby little Edward Scissor Hands from now on! They’re deadly!

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The ups and downs of returning to work after baby

by Courtney on November 10, 2011

Well, we did it. My first day back to work and Annabelle’s first day of day care is behind us. Thank God. I’d love to tell you that I was anxious about this day all for nothing and it all went swimmingly, but it didn’t. And if one of us had a bad day, I wish I could say it was me missing my daughter like crazy and she was just happy as a clam in her new setting. Unfortunately, she really struggled for a good portion of the day and my biggest fear came true – she wouldn’t take a bottle.

There’s nothing like getting a text message from your daycare center saying; “She was fine earlier, but she’s really upset now and won’t take a bottle. Should we call your husband? Is there anything we can do?”

WHAT! I was expecting them to be the pros! I don’t know, what do YOU guys think you should do – I thought you saw this all the time! Is Annabelle like some extreme case or something?? This is at 10:45am. We’ve got a long day to go.

Ay yi yi. Talk about a guilt-ridden working mama! I realize now that I didn’t try hard enough to get her to take a bottle with ease. I tried occasionally and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t. It would become a battle of the wills and if Annabelle got too upset I knew I could always stop pushing her and just let her drink straight from the tap. It’s hard to give tough love to a 3-month old baby when you know you can take the struggle away in a nano second. Everyone kept telling me – including the daycare lady – that if she’s hungry, she’ll eat. She won’t put up a fight forever. I figured they see this all the time and know all the tricks on getting a baby to take the bottle. But apparently Annabelle is a stubborn ‘lil chicki poo who only wants mommy’s boobies.

I called twice during the day and both times I hear her crying in the background. She was really putting her foot down in the morning, only eating 1 ½ ounces when she’d normally eat 4 oz. My husband even dropped in at 11:30 to try and feed her and she wouldn’t eat for him either. I decided that I can’t keep calling, they’re just going to have to deal with it and Annie B. is going to have to learn.

Needless to say; I was thrilled when Jeff offered to pick her up at 4:15 instead of waiting for me to get home at 5:45. Thankfully, the daycare lady said the day improved a bit, with Annabelle finally taking in a total of 6 oz. for the day. This is less than half of what she would normally take at this point. And to top it off, she slept a total of ONE HOUR all day!!!! She normally naps every hour and a half anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half! My poor little baby.

Obvy I was thrilled to pieces to see my little girl when I got home and pop her on the boob for a nice long 3 hour feeding. I think I kissed every inch of her face about 30 times over. She finally put her hand up to make me stop and then I was just kissing the inside of her wittle baby hand.

Work was kind of….nice

I thought for sure I was going to be a total mess dropping Annabelle off today. Hell, I was already crying last night before putting her in the swing for her evening nap. I didn’t want my last night of my maternity leave to be over. I tried to give myself plenty of time when we got there this morning so that if I had to leave and come back about 40 times, I could. It was a hectic first day because it was picture day at the center. Plus, the 8 o’clock hour is a busy drop off time for parents. So I didn’t really have time to stand there and dwell on what was happening, I had to get her stuff situated and leave for work. I shed a few quiet tears before leaving, but I just tried not to think about it as I walked out the door and got on the train.

Once I was at work everyone was stopping by my desk hugging me and welcoming me back. I caught up with my team on what’s been happening for the last four months, and it turns out life goes on without me. It was strange riding the train like a little professional and walking into my cube after being away so long. My calendar still said July. My phone rang and I looked at it like a caveman looking at a phone ringing – like, what the hell do I do with that??? Do I answer it?? Nah, I let it go to voicemail. Not that I remember how to check it.

The day was work-free and purely social with a couple pumping sessions in there – which I can see getting old REAL QUICK. All in all, I realized that I like going to work. I got a thrill from discussing some new marketing ideas for 2012 and going like 30 minutes having a conversation that had nothing to do with babies. I needed this.

Thankfully, I’m part-time for the rest of the year so I don’t go back to work until next Tuesday. Working definitely makes me appreciate my time at home so much more. I was so excited to get home for tacos, good TV, and holding little Annabelle. She is like Christmas morning to me.  

I’m going to work on the bottle issue this weekend and hopefully we can make a breakthrough. Eventually Annabelle will come to realize that when she’s at daycare she drinks a bottle and when she’s with mommy she drinks from the boobie. And I know she’ll grow to know and enjoy the daycare ladies and her new surroundings. Plus, the socialization she’ll experience will be so good for her. Like anything else, we all adapt. We thought having a newborn baby was tough that first week and then it become like second nature to be a parent. This is no different. For now, I’m just going to enjoy my long weekend with my baby girl and appreciate every minute I have with her. She’s such a gift.

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How life has changed 3 months into motherhood

by Courtney on October 16, 2011

My, how time is flying by. I can hardly believe it, but Annabelle is officially 3 months old today! When everyone says “enjoy this time now because it won’t last long” – they aren’t kidding! Little AB is getting bigger every day and her personality is really taking shape. She is SO sweet and I just want to eat her up with a spoon! I think she’s going to have a good little sense of humor because she loves to smile and she’s on the verge of true giggles any day now. Everyone always comments on how happy she seems because she’s very generous with that little smiley face of hers’! We’ve finally gotten into a good little groove where I know her likes and dislikes; what works and what doesn’t; and what just about every cry means. All of this just in time for me to go back to work in a few weeks… *sighs*

When I think about what life would be like without Annabelle, I just can’t. It would seem so empty to me now. I mean, what the heck was I doing with all that time I had before?! Oh ya, obsessing over Twilight and Robert Pattinson. Having a baby certainly puts things into perspective, and you realize what’s important. Suddenly, the things that were so important to me pre-baby just aren’t anymore.

But who knew SO MUCH would change in my life after having a baby? I’m still the same girl, right?

I’ve been thinking over the last few days how much my life has changed since having Annabelle and how much I personally have changed. Annnnd I would say it’s a lot. I mean, everything revolves around the baby’s sleep and eating schedule now. I live my life in 3 hour intervals. Eat, play, sleep – repeat. I have limited freedom. Going to the movies is a luxury now, not a weekly habit. Dinners at restaurants now include constantly watching the baby and doing everything we can to ensure she stays quiet in her stroller so we can eat without having to take turns holding her. If we have the opportunity to go out to eat by ourselves, Jeff and I end up talking about Annabelle and looking at pictures of her on our cell phones the entire time!

Where’s the old me?

In terms of how I’ve changed; I definitely don’t have the same confidence as I used to. I’m at a plateau with my weight loss because I really need to start eating a healthier diet, but I guess I’m sort of finding comfort in “comfort food” in the midst of all these life changes. Like, as a new mom you don’t get a lot of time to yourself to enjoy things like getting your nails done, shopping, or even just reading books. But I do have time to go through the drive-thru at McDonalds and get a cheeseburger and fries! Mmmm! But I know; it’s so bad for me.

With my post-baby body still not being anywhere near where it needs to be, I’m not even trying in the fashion department. I just don’t even care. I feel like people look right through me as I walk around in yoga pants and a ponytail pushing my stroller. I donned a bikini at the pool the other day and I should’ve been mortified by my body, but I didn’t even care. I figured; no one is looking at me anyway! It bothers me because I used to be SO into fashion and looking my best.

Other than my lack of confidence and fashionable wardrobe; I find that all the fun I used to have in feverishly following pop culture happenings – namely, all things Twilight – isn’t as exciting to me now. I don’t visit Twilight blogs anymore or buy all the magazines that feature a ‘Robsten’ story. I’m even not counting down the days for Breaking Dawn – it’ll get here when it gets here is my new attitude! I don’t even make time to blog like I used to. My pop culture blog (Pop Culture Junkie) has all but died and I have no pull to revive it. And I’m not even blogging on Life At Thirtysomething as much anymore! What’s happening to me?? Blogging has been a huge passion of mine for the last 2 ½ years! Does everything about my life have to change since having a baby? Is there any semblance of the old me?

I think I’ve fallen into the same trap that most mothers do where they make it all about their baby. Once Annabelle is squared away napping in her swing, I have just enough energy to get on Facebook and veg out in front of the TV. I know I need to set some goals for myself to change my diet, try harder in the fashion department, and make time to do the things I love, like blogging and reading. Hopefully going back to work is going to give me the structure to my day where I have time to read on the train, go to the gym on my lunch break, and blog when Annabelle goes to bed. And of course, it’ll force me to get some cute clothes and not phone it in with the yoga pants everyday!

My my my, babies can certainly turn your world upside down. But that being said; I wouldn’t trade my new life for my old one. I may not be as fashionable or as thin as I used to be; but I’m a good mom and my baby is happy and that’s more important to me anyway. Being skinny would just be icing on the scrumptious kissable baby cake, and I’ll get there! :)

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Baby’s first plane ride – we made it! And OMG….SHE’S TEETHING!!!!

by Courtney on October 6, 2011

I did good on the plane mommy!!

I was so nervous to take Annabelle on her first plane ride last Thursday. We had a 4 ½ hour flight from California to visit family in Indiana, and I was a freaking stress ball the whole day leading up to that plane ride. I lost sleep over it days before as I methodically planned out how our day was going to go; between feedings, diaper changes and what she was going to wear on the plane. I knew the altitude change could cause her some discomfort, so I wanted to be sure to feed her as soon as we took off so she was swallowing, which would help relieve the ear pressure. Buuut, of course Ms. Anna B. decides she wants to eat as soon as we got on the plane. NOOO! This isn’t how I planned it – she was supposed to wait for the plane to take off! Jeff was getting so irritated with me and told me to calm down and I replied back curtly: “Jeff, just deal with me, OK?” This is odd for me because usually I’m the laid back one and he’s the one always getting his panties in a bunch. But on this day, my panties were all bunched up.

Thankfully, the plane took off within 15 minutes of our departure time and AB was still hungry, so I poured her another bottle and she sucked away as we climbed to 30,000 feet. No big deal. She slept some, ate some more, looked around a bunch, pooped a couple whoppers in her dipe and I had to change her in the bathroom – which, thank the Lord, had a changing table (Virgin America)! I felt sorry for the poor woman in the aisle seat. I apologized in advance for any annoyance sitting next to a baby will surely cause. Recently, a girl in my mom’s group recounted an icky story about her baby’s first plane ride which included a bitchy ice queen in the aisle seat next to her. I was practically shitting myself when I realized we were in the window and middle seat. But halleluiah, aisle lady was a grandma just returning from visiting her newborn grandson – jack pot! Annabelle turned out to be a dream baby the entire flight. She never cried and when she started to fuss I just stuck her on the boob and all was well in the world. The noisy tikes were the toddlers. Especially the one directly behind us that had a penchant for screaming like the Boogie Man was jumping out of his closet. *sighs*

What the….teething at 10 weeks????

I'm not trying to be difficult, mommy! :(

SO, what do you think about the most when you go visit your family and you have a new baby? That’s right, BABYSITTERS! I had my week of baby free outings all planned out. Movies, football tailgating, date night, girl’s night – whatever. Hey, what are two sets of grandparents good for anyway? But I never even saw it coming………after trying to feed her a bottle several times to no avail, and noting the absorbanent amount of drool pooling on Annabelle’s chin in the last couple of weeks, we realized that she’s showing all the signs of TEETHING!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! The average baby starts teething at 7 months. Annabelle is not even 3 months yet!! Apparently early bloomers can teeth as early as 3 months, and in some cases, they may not cut a tooth for several months, but they’ll show signs early. I mean seriously, of all the weeks to go on a bottle strike, it’s the week when I have babysitters coming out of the woodworks? Child, this just ‘aint fair!

I guess the bottle’s nipple must hurt her sore gums when we try to stick it in her mouth and so she tongues it away and cries this heartbreaking cry of pain unlike the hungry or sleepy cry. And here I am getting up first thing in the morning and staying awake until midnight pumping bottles to have for all my baby free nights and it was all for nothing. Jeez, what does a formula fed baby do when she’s teething? Does she go on a bottle strike and just cry a million hungry cries? Does she eventually give in? I don’t know how those mothers get through this part. But I now feel chained to my baby. I was a nervous Nelly on date night last night. (Thankfully, she slept the whole time we were gone.) Today I ventured out to the mall to walk around and within an hour and a half I got a frantic phone call from my husband that went something like this: WHERE ARE YOU ANNABELLE IS CRYING GET YOUR BUTT HOME NOW JEEZ WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN I’M DYING MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!! So I rushed home feeling like I was in jail. Good grief, I hope this bottle strike biz doesn’t last long. I’ve gotta go back to work in 6 weeks!

But you know what the worst part of teething is so far? It’s that nothing feels better to my baby then gnawing on her mommy’s nipples to relieve some of the gum pain. GREAT. No, it’s awesome. Feels amazing. (OMIGAWD MY NIPPLES ARE DYING!!!)

Oh and the other amazing part is that I now have to take my baby tailgating in the Baby Bjorn on Saturday. Really, who wants to see a mom drinking a beer with her baby chilling on her chest and then breastfeeding a while later? People are judgey and mean. Screw it; I’m making Jeff hold her. People don’t judge father’s holding babies and drinking beer. It’s like, expected.

So this is my glorious vacay back home so far; a teething baby out of her element with a 3 hour time difference. Oh and, she’s suddenly showing favoritism and will only let mommy and daddy and my mom hold her. Anyone else gets cry face and bleeding ears. SUPER!

This goes to show that just when you thought you had it all figured out, your baby will throw you for a whole new loop, and you’re back to square one. *shrugs*

Oh well. I’m pouring a drink for myself — I need to numb the nips before baby’s next feeding.

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Figuring out parenthood one day at a time

by Courtney on August 16, 2011

When I was pregnant it used to sort of annoy me when people would tell me; “Oh, having a baby is SO MUCH WORK………..but it’s so worth it.” I think it irritated me because it wasn’t like I expected motherhood to be a cake walk or anything! And I felt like what people were really saying was; “Holy shit, having a newborn is Hard-As-Hell and can suck buuuuuut….oh, how can I put a positive spin on this??? …..But it’s SOOOO worth it!”

Now, just about every day someone asks me how motherhood is.  They might phrase the question; “OMG, congrats! Don’t you love it?!”  And my response just so happens to be… “Well, it’s a lot of work…that’s for sure. But I love my baby to pieces so it’s so worth it! I’m just figuring out parenthood one day at a time!”

Hmm…sound familiar? Now I get it! You see, it IS a lot of work. Your whole life changes when you become a parent. Your schedule is now dictated by your baby’s feeding schedule and sleep times. I’m now three weeks into being a mommy and I would describe my days somewhat like Groundhogs Day! It’s pretty much the same schedule with a little variation from day to day based on what our ONE outing is; whether it be out to lunch, to the store, or simply a walk in the stroller. With breastfeeding, you get about a 1 ½ -2 hour window of time to get some things done, such as laundry, cleaning, taking a shower, writing a blog, etc. before you’re back to feeding again! But that’s only if the baby will let you put her down! Sometimes you work that entire window of time to get her to go to sleep and she finally does 30 minutes before her next feeding! Ahh!

Tummy time!

Luckily, we’ve got little Annabelle on somewhat of a schedule, where she eats every 3 hours and she knows her days and nights. She goes to bed after her 10pm feeding and gets up around 3am and 6:30am to eat, and then sleeps until 8ish. Problem is; I don’t really know what to do with her when she’s awake! I feel like my husband and I spend all her awake times trying to get her to go to sleep! I actually just discovered yesterday that she’s old enough now for “tummy time”! We tried this when she was 4 days old and she hated the hell out of tummy time, but at 3 weeks, it’s kind of interesting to her! She kicks her legs and tries to lift her butt in the air. I swear; this little girl is going to be crawling WAY before I’m ready for it. Plus, she already lifts her head on her own!! In those 15 minutes of tummy time yesterday I feel like I saw a whole new side of Annabelle. I’m used to the eating, sleeping, crying Annabelle…now I see that she’s old enough to learn stuff or physically try new things, and suddenly I fear she’s growing up too fast! But I’m realizing that I need to start doing more stuff with her than holding her and feeding her. Everyday it’s a learning experience.

The next thing I need to tackle is getting on a real routine where I can start putting her down for naps at the same time each day and I can find time to do other things, like go to the gym or maybe go to Baby Boot Camp with her.  I have anxiety about joining a boot camp or mommy and me yoga class because I don’t want her to break out into a crying spree that only ends with a boob in her mouth. A boob in the mouth isn’t so convenient when I’m trying to push a stroller with 15 other moms and keep up with the pack! But surely I’m not the only mom that worries about this – or has to deal with a screaming baby at the most inopportune time! Oh, the insecurities of new motherhood…

It’s amazing how quickly life changes in a single moment in time. I know things will get easier as little AB ages, and quite honestly, she’s a pretty darn good baby, so I don’t have a lot to complain about. It’s just getting used to the fact that I don’t have the freedom I once had and this is my new normal. I hope to create a schedule that affords me some more time to not only get some much needed things done around the house, and to start a new exercise routine, but also a chance to blog more regularly and share this journey of figuring out motherhood as I go! So stay tuned!

Any moms out there have advice for how to get your baby to nap during the day, or books I should read on getting your baby on a schedule?

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The birth story of Annabelle Grace, my new baby girl!

by Courtney on August 1, 2011

After 41 long weeks of pregnancy, my baby girl has finally arrived into this world! I’ve blogged about my entire pregnancy; from finding out I’m preggers to wondering if my baby was ever going to be born being that she was a week late! So folks, I’m super excited for you to finally meet my Stage 5 Clinger – little Ms. Life Changer – Annabelle Grace! She was born on Monday, July 25th at 8:56am, weighing in at 7 lbs and 5 oz and is 19.5” long. She’s a total baby doll. Precious as can be – sweet as pie – and cute as the cutest button! There’s so much to say right now that I almost don’t know where to begin! But since this is her birth story, we’ll back up a week ago to Sunday the 24th, when I went into the hospital for my scheduled induction.

Even though I had a scheduled induction, I was still holding out hope that I’d go into labor naturally up until the last hour before leaving for the hospital. I just wanted to experience labor pains and my water breaking and nervously going to the hospital, excited for what’s about to happen. I wanted the element of surprise, which I wasn’t getting with an induction. But it is what it is – my Stage 5 Clinger wasn’t budging. Jeff and I arrived at 8pm and within an hour or so, I had a Foley Balloon inserted which is supposed to help the cervix mechanically open, preparing me for a pitocin injection at 5am on Monday morning, which would force contractions to start. Despite the fact that I was 41 weeks pregnant, I was still only 1 centimeter dilated and about 70% effaced. The nurse said she expected me to deliver my baby sometime Monday evening.

Not going to lie, the insertion of the balloon hurt like hell. As soon as the doctor left, I cried. I was thinking; OH GOD, if I’m crying over this, how the hell am I going to handle labor? It’s going to be a long night! I felt like a wimp. The nurse told me I’d experience some mild cramping from the balloon, but I noticed not too long after the balloon was inserted that I started feeling contractions and they’d last maybe 45 seconds and come and go every 3-4 minutes. I asked my nurse if it was possible for Mother Nature to step in at the same time I’m here to be induced and I could go into labor before the pitocin shot. She said it was unlikely since this was my first baby. But I was sure I was having contractions because it was more than “mild cramping”. As the pain increased, I asked what kinds of pain meds were available. I felt like the nurse was thinking I was a total pussy because in her mind I wasn’t even having contractions and I was already asking about narcotics and epidurals! So she gave me some pain drug that made me feel totally high as a kite and it did numb me…for a bit. But then my contractions got stronger and they felt really trippy being on this pain drug. The pain got worse and I was telling my judgey nurse to get me an epidural stat! I didn’t care if I hadn’t even had my pitocin shot, I was suffering!  It’s all a bit of a haze, but about 1 or 2am, the anesthesiologist came in to save my day. I was a little nervous about the epi shot because of all the hoopla surrounding it and how big that needle is that people always talk about. But hell, I never even saw the needle because dude was behind me! And with my level of pain, it literally felt like a freaking bee sting! It was a joke! Ladies – don’t’ fear the epidural shot. It’s nothing! Within about 20 minutes or so, the lower half of my body was numb. Relief!

Then, I slept.  And slept…

The nurse would come in periodically through the night/early morning to check me, and by about 4am she informed me that I was now 5 ½ centimeters dilated and will not need a pitocin shot anymore! Ha! So I was right – Mother Nature stepped in before the pitocin injection had a chance to come near me – awesome! Then, I went back to sleep. By about 7:30am on Monday my new, nicer nurse (shift change) came in and told me that I was now 10 centimeters dilated and will be pushing as soon as the doctor gets there. I’m all; WTF? So aside from those 1-2 hours of horrid contractions pre-epidural, I slept through my entire labor? How. Freaking. Awesome. Around 8:15am my nurse said we should do some practice pushes, so we got into position — by the way, this moment is so surreal to me because it’s what I’ve seen in movies and on TV my entire life, but I could never actually picture myself in this position — and I pushed. The nurses were impressed, telling me I was a great pusher and they could already see the head!!! But we needed to wait a little longer for the doctor. I was like; do we really need a doctor anyway? By 8:30 the doctor arrives and I have 4 sets of pushes (which have 3 rapid pushes in a row per set) and my baby is born – 25 minutes later! *Tears*

Holy swollen mama!!!! But look at that wittle girl....!

It was a bit scary for a couple minutes because she wasn’t crying. Suddenly, it went from a room of 4 people to about 15 people, either working on the baby or working on me. They told me the baby was just stunned because when she came out the chord was wrapped around her neck twice. This has always been my fear. But soon she was crying and they were placing her on my chest. I did that ugly cry thing where I close my eyes and try not to cry but I fail miserably and just look pitiful as I sit there shaking in silence! But obviously they were tears of pure joy to finally hold my baby – that little thing that had been kicking and hiccupping and rolling around inside me for all those months! I couldn’t believe I was finally meeting her. And she had my nose…and my lips! When you’re able to see a reflection of yourself in your baby so fast like that, it’s………………….it’s hard to explain the miracle of it all…

My next blog will be a part 2 of this birth story to discuss what nobody ever seems to talk about – the after birth. And breastfeeding…oh the breastfeeding….. (ouch!) Ya, nobody ever talks about the “ouch” part either!

What’s in a name?

The name Annabelle Grace has a special meaning for me. Back in 2006, my Granny passed away and I was absolutely devastated. She was the classic grandmother that cooked the best Southern food and doted on me just as a grandmother should. I was HER stage 5 clinger when I was a kid! :) When she passed, I told Jeff immediately that I wanted to name my future daughter after her. And her name was Anna Grace. But when I moved to California 4 years ago my boss at the time was named Anna, and suddenly the name reminded me of work! So for a while I kind of lost interest in the name. When I found out I was pregnant I was reading a list of top baby names and I really loved the name Isabella, but it was the #2 baby name in 2010. I just didn’t want her to have the same name as 5 other girls in every classroom she’s in growing up. I moved all the way down the list and my eyes landed on name #73, Annabelle. There it is, I thought. This is the perfect combo of my two favorite names. I could pay homage to my Granny but the baby will still have her own name. I added Grace as the middle name and ta-dah, Annabelle Grace it is. And I love it so much.

Thanks for reading!

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I have never prepared for anything more in my life than for having a baby. Ok, a wedding is a very close second because that was a year and a half in the making and included loads more money, pre-marriage counseling with a priest, pre-cana courses, moving in together, and a body overhaul that included [...]

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