“Adam Lambert”

Pregnancy is sucking the life out of my pop culture obsessions

by Courtney on June 1, 2011

Anyone who knows me or has been following my blogs for any amount of time (well, since pre-pregnancy) knows that I’m a pop culture junkie. I love the Twilight Saga of books and movies hardcore, and I blame my pregnancy on reading smexy Twilight FanFiction! If you’re not aware of this world of smutty literature, you need to jump in honey, coz HOLY SHIT ITS HOT! I love American Idol and was extremely passionate about this latest season, only to see country boy Scotty win in the end (I waited all season for that?)! And do I even need to remind you of my Adam Lambert obsession? My point is, I’m a Pisces and I live in a fantasyland that I’ve created for myself on my own time and I love to blog about these interests (sometimes) on Life At Thirtysomething, but definitely on my other blog aptly titled Pop Culture Junkie. The strange thing is; ever since I’ve become pregnant, and especially as my pregnancy comes to a close and reality sets in of the baby’s birth around the corner, I find my obsessions seriously waning.  What happened to the old me??!!

Courtney, can't you just love me AND the baby and get on with it?

Don’t get me wrong, I still love my Twilight and Robert Pattinson (duh!), but I just don’t feel particularly inspired to write anything on the topic these days. My man Adam is performing live concerts in Europe right now and vids are popping up all over the internet, but I can’t be bothered to post them to my blog. I’m reading a baby book right now, but I’ve booked an interview in two weeks on Pop Culture Junkie with an author of a new paranormal romance book, and it’s like pulling teeth for me to put my baby book down to read what promises to be some yummy adult book reading! My how things have changed! All I care about is finding the perfect glider and ottoman set for my baby nursery for all those late nights breastfeeding!! Will I ever get back to the old me, or will all my interests change when my baby enters this world?

Something tells me that when the initial freak out of having a baby wears off and I’m used to being a mom that some of these other interests will come back strong – especially when Breaking Dawn comes out in November! But jeez, it’s a bit strange to just feel so uninterested in stuff I used to follow with such fervor!

Thank God I’m having a girl though. Hopefully she’ll be like a little mini me and we’ll enjoy doing all these girlie things together, like going to see Justin Bieber concerts and attending midnight showings at the movies! But I think the days of staying up until 4a.m. reading FanFiction that I can’t put down are over…that is, unless there’s a baby getting a little grub in while mommy gets a little smut in!

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The BEST 365 days of my life. Plus, check out my 23-week baby bump watch pic!

by Courtney on March 20, 2011

Wow, I can’t believe a year has gone by so fast. I started this blog in February 2010 as a way to capture my feelings going into my “dirty thirties” and to blog about all the exciting things I’d plan on doing with my life moving forward.  And now here I am at 31 already, and it wasn’t too long ago that I was freaking the EFF out about turning 30! I thought it meant I was old and my youth was swiftly slipping away. But ironically, the 30th year of my life has been the best of my life! And it definitely started with a bang!

My 30th birthday celebration actually started a month before my actual birthday on March 19th when my husband totally surprised me and flew me down to Palm Springs to see my favorite American Idol alum, Adam Lambert, perform in concert. On that trip, we got a private tour of Elvis Presley’s Palm Springs estate by its current owners and something really stuck out to me from that tour that had nothing to do with Elvis. Our lovely tour guide hostess gushed about how cute Jeff and I were as a couple and asked if we had any kids, and we of course said no. With that, she perked up, sucked in a quick breath and smiled before saying; “I see you having a little girl…” And she started to elaborate but stopped herself saying that this was another topic altogether, eluding that she had some kind of psychic gift! I never forgot that and well, she was right – baby girl is on her way!

Then, a week later I boarded a plane to Cabo San Lucas with three other girlfriends for a long weekend of fun in the sun to help celebrate a couple of us turning 30 in March. Too bad it rained the whole time, but it was a wonderful trip. I remember on our final night we were all sitting at a table at an outdoor bar on the beach, where we consumed THREE bottles of champagne, and I got all champagne-induced teary revealing to the girls that I had taken my last birth control pill that night. They all gasped and didn’t realize that Jeff and I were ready to start a family. And truthfully, I didn’t know if I was ready either, but I don’t think you ever really are. And besides, we weren’t going to “try”; we just weren’t going to be actively avoiding it anymore. And now a year later here I am, almost 6 months pregnant!

Then to ring in my actual 30th birthday, Jeff surprised me yet again and took me down to Hermosa Beach/LA to have a glam weekend with our friends searching for celebs at the hottest hot spots in Hollywood and Beverly Hills! I will never forget my 30th birthday – how could I? It was the best.

Because I had turned 30, I felt like I needed to do things to challenge myself and keep myself in shape despite my advancing age! So I trained for 3 ½ months for a 65 mile bike marathon in the spring and I taught myself right then and there as I crossed the finish line that I could do anything I set my mind to. So to prove that this was true, I trained for a half marathon on foot in the fall and ended up beating my own expectations for myself and ran the whole time – beating my husband by 4 minutes!! And to top it off – I was 5 weeks pregnant when I ran that and didn’t even know it!

To round out the year, I took a few more trips to LA, New Orleans, and Gulf Shores, and as you all know now, I found out I was pregnant in November and have been blogging about my pregnancy journey ever since. For news that was quite a shock to me, and something that took a few weeks to get used to, I’ve whole heartedly embraced pregnancy and I absolutely love it. And to think, all these fun travels, confidence building challenges, and life changing surprises happened in my 30th year – when I thought the “fun” in life was walking the plank! Yes, the irony! I’m here to say folks; life really does begin at 30!

Baby bump watch continues – week 23!

According to Babycenter.com, it’s time to get dancing! The baby’s sense of movement is well developed by now and her keen ears are now picking up sounds outside of the womb, like my dog barking or the vacuum running! Surely she can hear her daddy’s loudass voice too! Between you and me, sometimes on Saturdays when I’m leisurely getting ready for the day and listening to the “Hottest Hits” station on Comcast, I dance in the mirror and get a HUGE kick out of seeing the baby bump bounce around! There’s nothing funnier than seeing a pregnant girl drop it like it’s hot! I’ve promised Jeff that one of these times he can film me dancing and post it in a blog. He said that’ll be his one and only contribution to my blog! Ok, I’ll sacrifice my pride and self-respect to give you all a good laugh…well maybe.

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Nursing a hangover with a positive EPT test (Oops!)

by Courtney on December 19, 2010

As I was nursing a wicked hangover in New Orleans over Thanksgiving vacation, a very scary thought came over me rendering me a nervous wreck. Shit, when was the last time I had my period? This friends, is not good. After a long day of thinking about it and Googling pregnancy symptoms online, I awkwardly suggested to my husband Jeff that we go get a pregnancy test. I didn’t want to get him all worked up if it was just a false alarm, but I had no choice. So we proceeded to walk to the drugstore, passing the flashing neon lights of Bourbon Street and blues music playing and purchased that little life changing test called EPT. On the way back to our hotel I promised Jeff that if this came back negative, I was heading straight to Bourbon Street and downing like six hurricanes.

It came back positive…twice.

The first words out of my mouth were: “OHMYGODOHMYGOD!”

Jeff of course, couldn’t be happier. *Hugs* *Kisses* *Hugs*

But then a worried look came over his face as he studied mine. I wasn’t smiling. I wasn’t laughing or crying – I was shocked! I was…SCARED TO DEATH! Seeing his concern for my reaction, I had to explain to him that this is a huge deal. Our lives are about to change and it’ll never be the same. But most immediately, MY life is going to change. MY body is going to change; my habits are going to have to change, etc. He has 9 months to get used to the idea of being a dad. He gets to drink the entire fucking time.  I on the other hand am suddenly a mommy. It doesn’t matter that I don’t have a baby physically in my hands; I have to think about everything I do, everything I eat or drink for the next 9 months and always put this little…baby…inside of me first. Upon finding out that you’re pregnant unexpectedly; you have a lot of growing up to do in that single moment – considering that last night I was passed out in the hotel lobby.

My mind started racing to how this is going to impact the immediate future. I mean look, here I am in New Orleans, the land of drinking to excess, in which visitors down hurricanes, grenades, and three beers for a dollar in a single hour. It’s like, what you do in Nawlins. Never mind that, what about our trip to Baton Rouge the next day? We were going there for the sole purposes of stalking “Twilight” stars who are down there filming the fourth “Twilight” saga film, “Breaking Dawn.” We planned to watch one of the stars perform with his band at a local Baton Rouge bar. I guess no drinky for me. But even more than this, my mind shot forward a few weeks to my BIG self-indulgent trip to L.A. that my friend Cristina and I were going to take. We planned to drive down to catch the final show of Adam Lambert’s international tour and then bar hop in Hollywood with some friends and close the weekend out wine tasting and getting spa treatments in Solvang, just outside of Santa Barbara. Shit, I guess that trip just went down the tube. I mean seriously, who wants to bar hop when they’re preggo?

“Wait; am I even old enough to have babies?” I thought out loud. Jeff reminded me that I’m 30 years old, so yes, I’m more than old enough to have babies. “But I still feel like a kid myself,” I whined. “I’ll feel weird telling my parents. This means they’ll know I’ve had sex!”

And yes, it was weird telling my parents. I said something to the effect off; “Hey, a funny thing happened while we were in New Orleans…I found out I’m pregnant!” They were stunned and thought I was kidding. Later, they told me it was like I told them I had just bought a car or something. I guess there should be a manual on how to tell your parents your preggers when you haven’t exactly accepted the idea yourself and you’re not quite at the *excited* part yet.

So week one of pregnancy (that I was aware of) was a bit…strange. It wasn’t how I ever expected to feel when I found out such monumental news. I guess because I’d been having such a fabulous year filled with super fun activities and I wasn’t quite done being selfish and having it all about me. This is of course where the guilt came in, because I should be over the moon about my situation. Give it time, I thought to myself. I’ve always wanted kids, so I’ll warm up to the idea soon.

Now, if things like peeing 800 times a day, pregnancy acne, exhaustion, and bloating weren’t throwing me off track, I could get really excited about this. I guess I should be getting on my knees and thanking my lucky stars that at least I don’t have morning sickness. Thank the Lord.

P.S.

Although just recently posting this blog, I wrote it a bit ago, when I was still warming up to the idea. No worries, I’ve warmed. :)

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Diaries on BART (San Francisco’s freak show on rails)

by Courtney on May 2, 2010

Taking public transportation in a bustling metropolitan city is kind of like going out into the woods when the sun goes down: the freaks of nature come out. And in the past three years of living in the San Francisco Bay Area, I’ve racked up quite the laundry list of entertaining stories from my daily travels on BART, the main transit system in the SF Bay Area.  For born and raised San Franciscans, the daily happenings on BART are non events. They’re desensitized to the weirdness. But for me, a Midwestern girl living in Cali, this is pure entertainment – plain and simple.  

In the beginning of my time here in San Fran, I’d come home – wild eyed – detailing the hilarious or fuckinweirdass shit I’d see on BART, much to my husband, Jeff’s, enjoyment. It became a daily thing. He’d be like; “What happened on BART today?”

Tales on BART

Courtney, just do what I do: look down and try not to get noticed...

In the early days, I was easily shocked. I’d see what I presumed to be homeless people, perhaps old Vietnam vets, vehemently arguing with themselves. They’d be so pissed off!  As this was going on, I’d look around and see that everyone was looking straight ahead. No one was paying any mind to this person’s rants. I guess they were trying to avoid becoming a target themselves. So I’d follow suit.

One time I was waiting for the train in the city, chatting away on my cell phone with a friend, and some Asian guy came up to me and put his middle finger right in my face – about an inch my from nose – and then walked away. I was stunned! WTF was that? I turned to the guy sitting next to me and his look was incredulous too. It was hard to carry on my buoyant conversation after that and pretend I didn’t just get the finger jammed up my nose.

I’ve been on the train and had some guy sitting next to me mumbling obscenities in my direction as I tried to ignore him by cramming my book in my face. One time, some stupid kid was talking extremely loud with his friend, obviously wanting the attention of his nearby seat mates, and he turned to me and asked me what I thought. I’d obviously been listening but I pretended I wasn’t. I said; “I’m sorry, I’m not paying attention”, and I waved my book at him, indicating that I’m reading. He then said; “Ya, is that why you haven’t turned the page in 20 minutes?” BUSTED! I sheepishly said the book was boring as I sunk in my seat. ARGH!

I’ve seen an “all-natural” mom breast feed what I can only assume is a five year old – saggy boob out. Annnnnnd she had arm pit hair. Ew. Recently, a family with instruments plopped their shit down right in the middle of the train and started whaling away on their guitars and drums singing some ‘60s song. This was a first! People didn’t say a word, but several got up and moved train cars!

My favorite is this homeless man who gets on the train and announces to the people that he needs a dollar so he can get a cheeseburger from McDonalds dollar value menu. Oddly, I’ve seen this guy like three times! Each time he has a different order and most of the time he details what be’s going to get with your hard earned money. I feel like asking; “Are you going to get onions this time? Mustard or no?”

Just the other day, I saw a completely normal looking man doing the cha cha cha as he waited for the train. He had his frame set, arms up (holding his imaginary partner), as he shimmied his hips and moved around his makeshift dance floor. As this was happening, people walked by, looking straight ahead, as if nothing strange was going on around them.

In fact, over the years, I’ve begun to question what’s weirder – the guy doing the cha cha, the woman breast feeding a teenager – or the people all around pretending that nothing is going on, staring straight ahead like zombies. I’m thinking; “Am I the only one witnessing this shit? C’mon people – laugh! Cry! Point a finger! Do something to show you’re human!!!! But oh no, you can’t do that in San Fran. We’re a politically correct nation of everything goes. And around here – it does.

So this Midwestern girl has grown accustomed to the oddities of every day BART patrons. I look straight ahead just like the other zombies. But occasionally – and this is the best – I’ll make eye contact with one of the other humans, also snickering at the absurd activity that is happening around us. And at that moment, I feel gratified knowing that the simple entertainment pleasures in life aren’t just mine.

If you ride BART, or take any other form of public transportation and you have  funny or interesting stories to share, please add them in the comments section!

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30 going on 13: the real me EXPOSED!

by Courtney on April 21, 2010

This is a direct quote from my husband. Swear.

This will come as no surprise to anyone who knows me, but I’m like, a major pop culture junkie. I love me some suuuuurrrrreeeaallll life like you wouldn’t believe. It’s true. I follow entertainment blogs on a regular basis and get daily e-newsletters from People Magazine and Us Weekly. I mean, it’s important that I know the breaking headlines. (What? There was a big volcano eruption? Where?). I watch “American Idol” and “Dancing with the Stars” with fervor and I see a new movie almost weekly.

The most notable of my pop culture obsessions has to be the “Twilight” series of books and movies. Ok… and as long as I’m being honest, I also have a freakish obsession with Adam Lambert. THERE. I SAID IT! The cat’s outa the bag. You know me. You really, really know me now. Are we still friends?

Well, up until now, I’ve saved my fan girl ramblings on the likes of Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner for my other blog, Pop Culture Junkie. I guess I thought Life at Thirtysomething was going to be about my OTHER interests. You know; the ones where I don’t have to hold my breath and pause for reaction when I hit the send button. But lately, I’ve been gettin’ tired of two bloggy blogs. It’s too time consuming to be two people – the 30-year old, and the 13-year old. Truth is; in many ways, I AM 30 going on 13. It’s my form of escapism form normal, everyday life. And so, if I’m going to write a blog about my life and the shiznet I care about, pop culture is going to weigh heavy on the menu of topics.

Spastic fan girl

What? You mean you haven't told them about us?

So there you have it, I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to start blogging about pop culture here. I should warn you; I’m not as classy and mature as you perceive me to be now. I know, I know:  surprise, surprise. But sometimes I’m just a spastic fan girl about my celeb love. Sometimes I want to gush about how freaking GORGE Robert Pattinson is… like in a way that a married girl shouldn’t. I want to delve into why at times he just looks OK in pictures, and other times he’s so HAWT, it’s stupid.

And I won’t even mention my life-size cardboard cutout of RPattz. No, it’s too soon. I’ll save that for a later post when I’m sure you’ve accepted the real me.

To my mature audience who couldn’t give a lick about pop culture, don’t be skerd. I’m still going to blog about life stuff, like how my dog’s giant balls are meeting their maker any day now, or how I plan to run naked in San Francisco’s Bay to Breakers annual 12k race. Ok, I’m not really going to run naked. I’m going to wear a bag over my head, you know, so no one knows it’s me.

So ya, I’m just going to infuse all of me in this blog now – not just my better half.

…And guys, I think you’re really going to love me! xoxo

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My “Us Weekly” birthday weekend

by Courtney on March 24, 2010

My So Cal friend, Ashley, and I have always talked about me coming down to LA and having an “Us Weekly“ weekend in which we hit up all the celeb hot spots that we read about in our fave goss mag! Of course being the Pop Culture Junkie that I am, this is right up my alley! So to ensure that my 30th birthday is forever engrained in my memory, my husband Jeff drove me down to LA this past weekend for one last birthday hoorah!

Needless to say; Ashley didn’t disappoint as we had Friday night reservations at one of the hottest celebrity hubs in Hollywood – the Chateau Marmont!

Act like you belong

Upon arriving at the shabby historic Chateau Marmont hotel, we were immediately ushered next door to Bar Marmont. Wait – whaaaaat? Perhaps they direct the “common folk” to the Bar next door so the celebs can eat their salads in peace. One thing we realized is that the name of the game around here is: “act like you belong”. So as we drove to the Bar valet Ashley’s fiancé, Jon, said; “We have reservations at BARMAMA”! To hear him flub the name as one word trying to sound French was the absolute funniest thing on the planet! As soon as we were out of site from the valet we died laughing! This still cracks me up!

Once inside, we were in awe of the Bar. It had the coolest ambiance ever with hip hop and jazz music playing in a gothic, darkly lit room, with candles and an open skylight. The meal and martinis were superb! Before leaving the restaurant we made a quick trip to the restroom where Ashley had to politely decline an offer of drugs from a fellow restroom attendee. You know you’re in LA when…you’re offered acid in the bathroom at dinner.

We made one last attempt to see the Chateau Marmont hotel but we were once again stopped dead in our tracks by the same woman with a clipboard in hand. She spoke to us in a French slash bitch accent and told us to come back tomorrow during the day when it’s less busy. As we walked away Jeff commented that he kept tripping on his tail between his legs. Of course I felt somewhat deflated as I was reminded of how ordinarily civilian I am, as in – not famous, so PISS OFF! Jon reminded us that at least we don’t have her job. YA, she can keep her silver clipboard. (P.S. We did go back and see it the next day – and we got in!).

Next up: bar hopping in Hollywood! At this point I texted my friend who’s a producer at one of the nightly celebrity magazine/news shows and asked him to take us to the celebs! He made sure to let us down gently by telling us there was not a chance in hell that we’d see celebs on a Friday night. Of course I’m thinking; F*CK, $HIT, DAMNIIIIIIT! But whaddya gonna do?

We spent the rest of the evening bar hopping between trendy little bars with velvet ropes and bouncers in black suits deciding on our entry fate. Being that we’re in the land of pretty and prettier, I had scary visions from a scene in the movie “Knocked Up” when older sister Debbie (in her late ‘30’s) tries to get in to a club and the bouncer tells her: “It’s not cause you’re not hot, I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can’t let you in cause you’re old as fuck. For this club, you know, not for the earth.”

Thankfully, I heard no such thing. I mean, I’m barely 30! C’mon!

Let’s go somewhere, like, really high profile

We woke up on Saturday morning to a gorgeous 80 degree day and OH F*CK, our reservations at The Ivy in Beverly Hills were in 20 minutes! NOOOOO!! Ashley called to see if there was a later reservation, and since God loves us, there was one at 12:45! Relief! We got all gussied up for lunch and headed down to the place where we swore we’d see at least one celeb lunching on the outdoor terrace.

This place is very interesting. It’s where you get a real sense of what it would be like living in Bev Hills. First of all, any time a person gets out of a car in front of the restaurant, walks up the steps, or enters a room – EVERYONE looks up. It’s because everyone is a possible celeb. This can really play on your insecurities. It’s truly the essence of where you go to “see and be seen”. And I’ve never seen more plastic and Botox in my life. Eeks!

The Ivy was utterly adorable in its French country décor with an endless array of fresh flowers on every table or ledge in sight. The food and drinks were stellar too and my husband even commented that this was the most memorable lunch he’s ever had! If I ever go back to BH, I will definitely return to The Ivy. But next time, I better see a freaking celeb – Hmph!

We spent the rest of the afternoon shopping around at big name boutiques such as “Kitson” and doing map of the stars! We saw Jennifer Aniston’s house, the Playboy mansion, Madonna’s “block”, and the creepy home where Michael Jackson died. We ended the evening dining and bar hopping in the laid back setting of Hermosa Beach.

On Sunday, after lunch and a super cute bike ride along the Hermosa Beach board walk (where we passed the original “90210” beach house) we were on our way home. AHHHH – what a weekend!

I’m glad I got to taste a slice of LA life. I can see how one can overdo it in Hollywood. I can see how one could overspend in Beverly Hills. But hell, it’s a badass place to visit!

You should know that despite all the dramatic blogging I’ve been doing lately about exiting my twenties, I’ve been having the time of my life in the past few months! This trip to LA marked the final event in a month long celebration that started with a surprise trip to Palm Springs to see Adam Lambert in concert, and a girl’s trip to Cabo San Lucas. This is one birthday that I will never, ever, forget. And it’s all thanks to my uber thoughtful husband, Jeff.

So it’s official; I’ve hit the big 3-0. The “dirty DIRTY thirty”! And TA-DA: life has never been better!

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Vacation anxiety – do you ever get this?

by Courtney on March 3, 2010

Sun tan lotion. Check. New bathing suit. Check. Supah fly new shoes. Check.

Yeeeees, Cabo is upon us. In a few hours I’m boarding a plane for five days of fun in the sun with my good ‘ole sorority sistas for our own version of a “Sex in the City” Mexico vacation! I’ve been looking forward to this vacation for so long and now that it’s only hours away – I’m having anxiety about it! It sounds strange, but I’m afraid it’s going to be over before it starts!

Does anyone else ever think like this? You look forward to something so much and within a blink of an eye you’re back at work slogging away on some poo that you don’t feel like doing, only daydreaming about your recent vacay. My dad always says; “It never seems like you’re on vacation, you’re just remembering when you were.”

Dang it! Cabo, don’t’ do this to me! Don’t be over before you start!

Just this past weekend my husband whisked me away for a *surprise* early 30th birthday getaway to Palm Springs! He was totally being the best husband on earth and got me tickets to see my fave new singer, Adam Lambert, perform live in concert (to read about my trip, go here)! I found out about the surprise (on the sly) two days before, and it seemed like one second I was wistfully telling an audience of co-workers where my husband was taking me, to recapping my weekend to the same peeps the very next second. I guess the saying is true; “Time flies when you’re having fun”. But at times like this, I wish time would just walk. Not fly.

Loose Cabo agenda

In Cabo we plan to spend a lot of time at the pool, namely, the swim up bar. We are headed straight to the spa for messages and facials at the first sign of a sun burn. And we plan to eat like there’s no tomorrow. Let me tell you, we love to chow down! Screw the salad! BRING US MEXICAN FOOOOOOOD! Back in Cancun circa 2001, we went to this restaurant (do you call it a “Mexican restaurant” if you’re in Mexico?!) and they were serving us an inappropriately small portion of chips and salsa, and no sooner than the bowl landed on the table we were asking for a second batch. After about five refills we were getting the raised eye brow look from our server. So ya, we like to eat. Nothing has changed. Only now, we can afford to eat at better places!

We’ll probably hit up a few bars at night, but knowing how unfortunately jet lagged our Midwestern/Southeastern chicas will be; we’ll probably be in the hotel lobby sipping pina coladas, rubbing our sore feet, and people watching most nights. It’ll go something like this; “Oh, look at her outfit! So cute! OMG, look at what she’s wearing – if I ever leave the house like the, slap me! You know, the usual shit talking girls do when they’re amongst friends.

Oh speaking of outfits (this was funny); one of the girlies in our group that I’ve nicknamed “Jetsetter” mentioned that she’s bringing a one piece jumpsuit thingy on the trip. Naturally, the rest of us immediately pictured some sort of J.Lo-esque ensemble. One of the other girls fessed up that the mere mention of Jetsetter’s “onesie” gave her anxiety!! She doesn’t want to compete with that! I don’t either. My Old Navy sun dress is going to look pretty churchy next to that!

So anyway, I’m looking forward to making new memories with my girls and having a book full of new vacation “quotes” that we can laugh about for years to come. I just hope time stands still on this vacay. And I want to prove my dad wrong. I want to be “ON VACATION” and know I’m there, not simply reminiscing when I was!

 Does anyone else get vacation anxiety? Or am I totally stupes on this one?

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