My Life in Words

Wedding hangovers suck, but I had a fun Mother’s Day weekend in Santa Barbara!

by Courtney on May 16, 2012

Happy belated Mother’s Day, mamas! Sorry for my late blog post celebrating the holiday, but I’m coming off of a pretty big weekend that included a MAJOR wedding in Santa Barbara. It was my friend’s wedding and I seriously cannot get over how over the top amazing it was. It was straight out of a wedding magazine — best wedding I’ve ever been to! Anyway, I had been looking forward to this weekend for months and was really excited that my parents were coming along to watch Annabelle while Jeff and I got to enjoy the two day wedding festivities.

I forgot how bad wedding hangovers suck

I was mainly looking forward to drinking lotsa wine and not being on baby duty until the next morning! So this mama indulged in a little too much wine both Friday and Saturday nights and UGH, holy hangover! I haven’t had a hangover since the day before I found out I was preggers (oops)! This was by no means in my top 10 or even 20 worst hangovers, but for a girl who barely drinks more than 2 cocktails in a sitting anymore, waking up at 2am with wine induced gut rot was hell on earth. Plus, now I have a baby waking up at 6:30am and wanting to nurse. Babies don’t care that mommy has a hangover. And of course it was totally annoying, but I had to pump and dump for the first time because I hadn’t nursed since 1:30 Saturday afternoon. Yes, I’m weaning, but no, I can’t go all day and all night without nursing or pumping. It was a sad realization that my increasingly aggressive weaning process is working because in that 11 hour span of time I only pumped 4.5 oz of milk. *Sad face* I used to get that in 4 hours! Yes, I felt melancholy knowing this is my doing, intentionally hurting my milk supply and all by nursing less. But hey, I’m not planning on being on the cover of Time Magazine breastfeeding a 4 year old or anything, so we’re winding down on the nursing.

Anyway, on to Mother’s Day… I don’t know what I thought Mother’s Day was going to be, like maybe spa massages and a chance to sleep ‘till noon, but that’s not how it all went down. I spent half the day driving home in a car with a bored baby crying her face off because she was locked down for 7 hours. Not exactly my idea of relaxing. I didn’t really expect anything specific to be planned for this past weekend because we were going to be in Santa Barbara and out of our normal routine, but idk, I hoped for something cute to happen. Jeff called me on Saturday when he was coming back to the hotel from an afternoon chugging beers with my dad, and he told me he was stopping by World Market to buy me a card. Ok, thanks for the surprise. Then, on Sunday in front of my girlfriends who were also attending the wedding, he gave me my card with $9.50 in it. Don’t ask me why, but I think he thought it was funny. And to add insult to injury, he later took the $9.50 back! Whatever, I guess our trip to Santa Barbara was my Mother’s Day gift. Jeff later told me after a hint of a complaint came out of my mouth that the new diamond rings I’m wearing that I got for my birthday are also my Mother’s Day present. Wait, now how long is he going to use that line??

Anyway, in all seriousness, it was really cool that I got to spend Mother’s Day with my own mama this past weekend. Can’t remember the last time I got to do that since living in Cali and she’s in Indiana. It’s funny, even though this was my first Mother’s Day; it still very much feels like my mom’s holiday. I can’t believe I’m someone’s mama! Last year Jeff took me to a Mother’s Day brunch on Sunday, which was really sweet and felt special since I was 7 months preggers. This was me this time last year…

What I learned from this past weekend is that 1) My two drink maximum is for my own good — hangovers can suck a d*ck. 2) I’m going to blow my husband’s socks off for Father’s Day so he takes notes for 2013 Mother’s Day… 3) My mom is just as good of a grandmother as she is a mother!

Happy Mother’s Day to my super supportive, awesome mama, and to all of you other mamas out there!

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“Baby proofing” is laughing at me for not baby proofing yet.

by Courtney on May 9, 2012

Ever since Annabelle started crawling about a month ago my whole world has turned upside down. The days where I could plop my ‘lil bubba on the ground in front of her toys while I throw in a load of laundry, put clothes away, go to the bathroom, etc. all while she blissfully played in one spot are a thing of the past. Seriously, those days seemed almost Camelot-like compared to the constant re-directing, disciplining, and rescuing I’m doing now. Yes, I said rescuing. Listen, babies get into shit when you’re not looking. They crawl a lot faster than your little mind can comprehend!!

In the last two days alone I have caught Annabelle in an act that had my future heart attack written all over it. Yesterday I came into my room and found her standing next to the wall with the TV plug in her hand about to pull it out of the wall socket — while the TV was on! I literally ran up to her and yelled “NOOOOO ANNABELLE” hoping my loud voice would stop her dead in her tracks. Thankfully it did. Immediately my inner conscience called me a lazy, no good mother who is sitting on my ass when I should be baby-proofing those damn outlets.

Then, tonight I put Annabelle down in my room in front of her little play gym while I did some laundry. Yes, I saw her crawling out of my room but I figured if she was going toward the stairs I had enough time to throw the clothes in the dryer and hit the start button. Idk why I can’t accept that Annabelle is a speed demon crawler, but as I walked out of the laundry room Annabelle was literally on the edge of the staircase reaching her little hand out into thin air because there was no more floor under her, just a lower step. I screeched “ANNABELLE NOOOOOOOOOOOO” in what sounded like slow motion to me as I ran and scooped her up before she took a tumble. Again, my inner conscience shamed me stupid. THAT’S IT! It’s time for baby gates — those annoying, fugly baby gates that are going to prevent any future tumbles down the stairs and totally clutter my house.

Now, if only my husband could get on board with baby proofing. For some reason he thinks it’s nonsense and asks me if I thought my parents baby proofed their house back in the day when I was a baby. I told my mom this and she was like; “DUH, I baby proofed!” I’m realizing now that Jeff’s attitude is more about not wanting to clutter up our house with gates and play pins and he’s not thrilled with the mundane task of covering electrical outlets, covering cords, adding drawer stoppers, moving cleaning solution to higher levels, bolting furniture to the wall, etc. Essentially, Jeff has been fighting the clutter for 9 months. He needs to just give into the chaos. So of course I made sure to explain to him how Annabelle almost gave me a stroke pulling plugs out of outlets and falling down the stairs in the last two days. I think he gets it.

Now, if only there was a baby proofing person from Babies ‘R Us that could come into my house and just baby proof it for me so I don’t have spend an entire weekend covering cords! Ugh!

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Why do I still look 3 months pregnant 7 months postpartum??

by Courtney on February 26, 2012

Back in July 2011, as I was sitting on the couch dropping a small fortune on Beach Body DVDs that promised me the skinnies post-baby, I swore I’d be back to my pre-baby weight by Christmas — if not sooner. I was so over my whale-ish figure that I just knew I’d bounce back in no time. I mean, that’s what vain girls do, right? Yes, I’ve definitely lost a lot of weight since giving birth — 47 lbs to be exact, orrrr about the average weight of a 6 year old child. EWWW! Fast-forward 7 months and 4 uses of those Beach Body DVDs later, and I still look 3 months pregnant! WHY! WHY! WHY? Sadly, I still have 10 lbs more to lose!! WHAT!

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I gained WAY too much in pregnancy, namely in my 3rd trimester where I was so uncomfortable that the only thing that brought me comfort was yummy food. I totally overindulged. My bad. And now I’m paying the price for those daily Wendy’s Frostys. I’m so sick of these 10 lbs hanging on for dear life. I try to blame it on breastfeeding; since I read somewhere that breastfeeding can keep on about 10 lbs to aid in milk production. But I know it’s really just my inability to eat healthy and make time for going to the gym. It is SO hard eating whatever you want for a year and a half and then suddenly trying to say no to French fries and eat healthy again. Not to contradict what I just said about breastfeeding, but thanks to nursing, I’ve been able to eat whatever I want and slowly shave off the preggo pounds for the last 7 months. Unfortunately, now I’ve plateaued and it’s going to be up to me to do the rest. Hmph!

I never thought I’d say this; but I wanna look like Jennifer Hudson!

I’m strongly thinking about joining Weight Watchers. Have you seen Jennifer Hudson in those WW ads? Geez! I did WW before my wedding and lost 13 ½ lbs and never looked better. I know it works but it’s definitely a commitment and if you want to be successful, you’ve gotta stick with it. What makes WW even more successful is working out. And since going back to work from maternity leave, I’ve been terribly inconsistent with exercise. I work in the office 3 days a week and half days at home on Mondays and Fridays, so it kind of forces me to get all my gym time in on the weekends, and that’s when I want to be out doing stuff, I don’t want to be on the treadmill! Of course I’m just making excuses.

My problem is that I’ve gotten complacent about my weight loss. But I def don’t want to keep these pounds on and then add the poundage from baby #2 on top of it. What’s frustrating about this weight is that it’s all concentrated right in my tummy, making me STILL look 3 months pregnant! DRATS! Can’t it be nice and evenly distributed throughout my body? I feel like I need a personal trainer to lean out this gut of mine. My 90 crunches once a week aint cuttin’ it. I’m so sick of wearing the same 4 outfits to work; just rotating what days I wear them. They’re the only things that fit! I want to get back in those skinny jeans — and with no muffin top! Pipe dream?

So this is my dilemma. It’s time for me to change my lifestyle if I want to get the skinnies. Am I ready? I don’t know. I’m ready to feel confident again; to look good at my friend’s wedding in May. But can I give up the mindless eating? I mean….I guess I can. Where the heck is my motivation? Where’s that vain girl within when I need her? Did she get a sweet tooth too? *face palm*

Any suggestions on how to lose these last 10 lbs of baby weight? Success stories?

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Pinterest makes me want to be a better person

by Courtney on February 3, 2012

I’ve discovered a brand new way to waste loads of time: Pinterest. As if Facebook, Twitter and blogging weren’t enough, I now have one more place to leave my mark on the Internet — and it has sucked me in like a vacuum.

What is Pinterest, you ask? Well, number one: get with it. And number two: It’s the closest thing to being like Oprah, where you get to post your “favorite things” to your “pin boards” all day and people care and suddenly want what you want.

But why, you ask? Well, do you ever need a little inspiration for home decorating, or your wedding, or your wardrobe? Pinterest inspires you. In fact, in the last three days of being a Pinterest member, I’ve literally decided it’s time to be a better person on all fronts in life that matter: better style, better home décor, better baby clothes, better nail polish, and better recipes (not that I cook).

Pinterest has made me realize that since having a baby, I’ve become lazy on basically all things in life, outside of motherhood. Here I am pinning all these super adorable wardrobe ideas, and I realize I haven’t worn high heels in a year — so how am I going to suddenly dawn a mini dress and 4 inch peep toe heels? Essentially, Pinterest makes me want to lose the baby weight. Nothing else has inspired me to lose the weight more than looking at all these super cute wardrobe ensembles that I currently cannot wear in good conscience.

You know when you first move into a new home, all you want to do is watch HGTV 24/7, and spend your weekends at Pottery Barn and Target trying to fill space in your new abode? And then you live there 3+ years and you’ve stopped updating it and all your shit starts to look worn out? Well that’s my reality right now. But having a 6-month old baby makes me forget all other “nice to haves” in life, and so my house just sits here, looking the same as it did 3 years ago. But Pinterest makes me want to upgrade mi casa. From cool vintage wall art/frame ideas, to ways to decorate a hideaway bathroom toilet — there’s literally something for every room. And I want to poop in style.

I love that my husband is the cook in our household, but Pinterest makes me want to be a regular ole Marath Stewart. I find myself fantasizing about dawning an apron and making lemonade layer cake, baked French toast, and the “best mac ‘n cheese in the world,” courtesy of Pure Flavor cookbook. Hey, it could happen.

I’ve got it: the only way to ensure that Pinterest isn’t purely a waste of time; I need to actually turn all this inspiration into action and results:

  • Lose the baby weight and improve my wardrobe.
  • Out with the old and in with the new on worn down home décor.
  • And cook like my mama always wanted me to.

I’m sure there are areas on Pinterest that I haven’t even gotten into, such as fitness, pop culture, and blogging. So that will only further tie up my evenings and lunch breaks to be pinning away. Ay yi yi! I’m getting exhausted and inspired just thinking about it. Really, what fuels my pinning obsession is seeing all the emails flooding my inbox telling me people are following me and re-pining my pins! Suddenly, discovering that all these casual friends are into lot of the same things I am, such as fashion, funny quotes, toilet decor, etc., makes me feel like I should really try to get to know them better!

Pretty much, Pinterest is life changing. You should join, but know that there’s a *waiting list* to get in. You’ll need an invitation to join from a current member. Something tells me if you weren’t interested before, knowing that its so *exclusive* is making you crazy and you are pounding your keyboard typing in pinterest.com! And of course, when you get in, be sure to follow me and all my ‘better person’ ideas. :)

Follow Me on Pinterest

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The ups and downs of returning to work after baby

by Courtney on November 10, 2011

Well, we did it. My first day back to work and Annabelle’s first day of day care is behind us. Thank God. I’d love to tell you that I was anxious about this day all for nothing and it all went swimmingly, but it didn’t. And if one of us had a bad day, I wish I could say it was me missing my daughter like crazy and she was just happy as a clam in her new setting. Unfortunately, she really struggled for a good portion of the day and my biggest fear came true – she wouldn’t take a bottle.

There’s nothing like getting a text message from your daycare center saying; “She was fine earlier, but she’s really upset now and won’t take a bottle. Should we call your husband? Is there anything we can do?”

WHAT! I was expecting them to be the pros! I don’t know, what do YOU guys think you should do – I thought you saw this all the time! Is Annabelle like some extreme case or something?? This is at 10:45am. We’ve got a long day to go.

Ay yi yi. Talk about a guilt-ridden working mama! I realize now that I didn’t try hard enough to get her to take a bottle with ease. I tried occasionally and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t. It would become a battle of the wills and if Annabelle got too upset I knew I could always stop pushing her and just let her drink straight from the tap. It’s hard to give tough love to a 3-month old baby when you know you can take the struggle away in a nano second. Everyone kept telling me – including the daycare lady – that if she’s hungry, she’ll eat. She won’t put up a fight forever. I figured they see this all the time and know all the tricks on getting a baby to take the bottle. But apparently Annabelle is a stubborn ‘lil chicki poo who only wants mommy’s boobies.

I called twice during the day and both times I hear her crying in the background. She was really putting her foot down in the morning, only eating 1 ½ ounces when she’d normally eat 4 oz. My husband even dropped in at 11:30 to try and feed her and she wouldn’t eat for him either. I decided that I can’t keep calling, they’re just going to have to deal with it and Annie B. is going to have to learn.

Needless to say; I was thrilled when Jeff offered to pick her up at 4:15 instead of waiting for me to get home at 5:45. Thankfully, the daycare lady said the day improved a bit, with Annabelle finally taking in a total of 6 oz. for the day. This is less than half of what she would normally take at this point. And to top it off, she slept a total of ONE HOUR all day!!!! She normally naps every hour and a half anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half! My poor little baby.

Obvy I was thrilled to pieces to see my little girl when I got home and pop her on the boob for a nice long 3 hour feeding. I think I kissed every inch of her face about 30 times over. She finally put her hand up to make me stop and then I was just kissing the inside of her wittle baby hand.

Work was kind of….nice

I thought for sure I was going to be a total mess dropping Annabelle off today. Hell, I was already crying last night before putting her in the swing for her evening nap. I didn’t want my last night of my maternity leave to be over. I tried to give myself plenty of time when we got there this morning so that if I had to leave and come back about 40 times, I could. It was a hectic first day because it was picture day at the center. Plus, the 8 o’clock hour is a busy drop off time for parents. So I didn’t really have time to stand there and dwell on what was happening, I had to get her stuff situated and leave for work. I shed a few quiet tears before leaving, but I just tried not to think about it as I walked out the door and got on the train.

Once I was at work everyone was stopping by my desk hugging me and welcoming me back. I caught up with my team on what’s been happening for the last four months, and it turns out life goes on without me. It was strange riding the train like a little professional and walking into my cube after being away so long. My calendar still said July. My phone rang and I looked at it like a caveman looking at a phone ringing – like, what the hell do I do with that??? Do I answer it?? Nah, I let it go to voicemail. Not that I remember how to check it.

The day was work-free and purely social with a couple pumping sessions in there – which I can see getting old REAL QUICK. All in all, I realized that I like going to work. I got a thrill from discussing some new marketing ideas for 2012 and going like 30 minutes having a conversation that had nothing to do with babies. I needed this.

Thankfully, I’m part-time for the rest of the year so I don’t go back to work until next Tuesday. Working definitely makes me appreciate my time at home so much more. I was so excited to get home for tacos, good TV, and holding little Annabelle. She is like Christmas morning to me.  

I’m going to work on the bottle issue this weekend and hopefully we can make a breakthrough. Eventually Annabelle will come to realize that when she’s at daycare she drinks a bottle and when she’s with mommy she drinks from the boobie. And I know she’ll grow to know and enjoy the daycare ladies and her new surroundings. Plus, the socialization she’ll experience will be so good for her. Like anything else, we all adapt. We thought having a newborn baby was tough that first week and then it become like second nature to be a parent. This is no different. For now, I’m just going to enjoy my long weekend with my baby girl and appreciate every minute I have with her. She’s such a gift.

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Does caffeine really effect a baby’s sleeping habits? I’m starting to think so…

by Courtney on September 5, 2011

When you’re pregnant there is this long list of food and drinks that you can and can’t have; stuff that, 30 years ago people probably consumed on a regular basis, but in today’s world, we’ve got rules. So all you do while pregnant is fantasize about the day when you can finally have those no-no list items again; such as sushi, WINE, or for me, Diet Pepsi (like 3-4 a day!). I don’t drink coffee, so Diet Pepsi is my caffeine of choice – and I love it a lot a lot a lot. And it drove me nutty that I could only drink one a day during pregnancy. So post pregnancy I was thrilled to be able to drink it again and more frequently throughout the day, especially since I’m a bit more sleep deprived these days. But crap, since I’m breastfeeding, the food and drinks I consume can still have an effect on my baby. Damn it.

While in the hospital, I asked the pediatrician if it was ok to drink soda during my nursing days and she said I should limit it to one a day. DEAR GOD, when am I going to have my body back?? But if I’m being honest, I’ve totally ignored that and had about 2-3 per day since bringing the baby home! (Oops!) In the first couple weeks, Annabelle slept like 18 hours a day. But as the weeks progress, Annabelle’s daily naps have become fewer and far between to the point where there are some days where she never has more than a few 15-20 minute cat naps. And as I said a couple blog posts ago, these dang cat naps are the death to any new moms’ sanity! So I wondered…maybe it’s the caffeine. Damn it, damn it, damn it.

So, as you do when your breastfed baby starts to show unwanted signs of whatever (lack of sleep included), you start eliminating things from your diet and see what it is that is causing the situation. So in the past three days I’ve eliminated caffeine from my diet and replaced it with Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi when I feel like having a soda. And little Ms. Annabelle has been napping several times per day, anywhere from a half hour to an hour and a half! And the best part is; she’s sleeping for longer stretches at night! The last three nights she has slept for 6 hours straight, from 10:45pm-5:00am! Hip hip HOORAY! She has totally skipped her usual 3am diaper change and feeding! Great for our sleep, not so good for my boobs – missing a feeding makes you ultra engorged and it HUUUUUUURTS! But I hear your body begins to adjust to a change in your feeding schedule after a few days.

With the extra sleep she’s been getting lately, my husband is now telling me: “NO MORE CAFFEINE, EVER.” Great, I’m back to lemonade and Sprite – my pregnancy beverage selections. *sigh* But oh well, if it means Annabelle is getting more sleep and I can get more things done around the house and longer uninterrupted sleep at night myself, I’m willing to cut out my dear, dear Diet Pepsi.

We’ll see how consistent this new and improved sleeping pattern is… I sure hope we’re turning over a new leaf! And who knows; better sleep could just be a product of Annabelle getting older, where she doesn’t need that middle of the night feeding and such; but for now all I can do is assume this change may actually be producing some results, so I’m going with it!

Parenting a new baby is all about trial and error. It’s not easy and to be honest, it’s not always fun, but when you do find those things that bring forth positive results (Read: non crying moments, sleep, smiles and coos), then it is fun and in those moments, all is well in the world with sugar on top!

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A pleasure party and stripper STILL couldn’t stimulate labor. HMPH! Check out my 39-week baby bump!

by Courtney on July 11, 2011

Yum yum!!

A week ago when I got an invitation to attend a surprise bachelorette party for my friend this weekend, I was sure I’d have a baby by now. BUT, if for some god awful reason I was still preggers by the time the party rolled around, I figured the “live entertainment” – read: STRIPPER – would send me straight into labor! So I was all about it! I was told recently on Twitter that the key to having your water break and going into labor is to have someone make me laugh really hard. And what better occasion to be laughing my ass off than to watch some sweaty stripper rub his sock filled G-string all over the bride-to-be? This will be GREAT!  I even told my husband it would be a good idea for him to drive me to the party and just wait in the car for when I’m being rushed out bent over in labor pain! Unfortunately, I had no such freaking luck.

During the pleasure party portion of the event, I struck up a nice conversation with one of the other ladies about having babies; her experience at the same hospital I’m delivery at, what to look out for, postpartum expectations, etc. We talked about the miracle of childbirth and how you’ll never love someone so much until you first hold your baby – all while passing dildos and bullets (if you don’t know, Google it) between us onto the next person in the circle!

Then it was time for the *entertainment*. I just prayed that no one got any ideas about pointing the stripper towards the pregnant girl for a lap dance or anything. Any time you’ve got a room full of women and a stripper, 9 times out of 10 the stripper will go for 1) the Bride and 2) the shy girl in the corner desperately avoiding eye contact – i.e. the PREGNANT GIRL!  Because hey, it’s funny to watch people squirm right? Well sure enough, the stripper had to give preggo a little special attention. Ugh! I tried to smile through it, but when I saw the pictures that were of course snapped like the paparazzi during these 30 seconds of discomfort, my face looks like I just ate a mouth full of Sour Patch Kids! Ha! But despite mama’s discomfort, the baby seemed to be enjoying herself. The music that pounded through these massive speakers that the stripper brought in certainly replicated the feeling of being at da club and obvy little girl could hear it plain as day! She particularly liked the song “SHOTS” by LMFAO! Girlfriend was dancing all over the place in my tummy! Finally, 6 hours later, after waiting around to enjoy a piece of the vanilla, butter cream and fondant penis cake, I was on my way home. Still pregnant, no labor pains – just ringing ears.

I still have one week until my due date, so I should really save the drama filled “I’m still pregnant post” until I’m beyond my due date, but honestly, I just thought for sure I’d be a mama by now. Like I said; pretty much every single person I’ve talked to went early with their first baby, so I was sure the same would happen to me. Come to find out, it’s actually more common for first time moms to be on time or late in delivering their baby – not early. I must’ve just been talking to a lot of freaks of nature lucky women who went early.

Baby bump watch CONTINUES – week 39!

Pretty much all Babycenter.com says this week is that baby is just “waiting to greet the world.” But every day she’s just getting fatter to help control her body temperature after birth. Yet another reason I want to have the baby now – I don’t want to be on the evening news for birthing the largest baby in Contra Costa County! The good news is that at my 38 week doctor appointment last Friday there is some progress being made on the birthing front, so this is good. Now it’s just a matter of time.

Tomorrow night my husband and I have a dinner date at the local pizza parlor where apparently they have this “Preggo Pizza” that has been known to stimulate labor –with 43 documented success stories on their website of women giving birth the same day or next day after consuming this pizza concoction! In fact, my childbirth preparation instructor from a few weeks ago is among this crowed! She told us the story of the preggo pizza and how she was delivering her baby the next day! Crossing my fingers that this pizza can work its magic on me!! We’ll see! :)

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Just call me a breastfeeding expert who has never breastfed. Here’s what I know…

by Courtney on May 12, 2011

The pregnancy classes have officially started for me. First up, breastfeeding 101! I’ve gotta say, I’m about 30% less intimidated by the idea of breastfeeding than I was walking into the class this past Saturday. For two hours I learned all about the ins and outs of breastfeeding, such as the various ways to hold a baby during feedings (like “the football hold”), how many times a baby eats during the day and for how long, and of course – the color and consistency of the baby’s poop…you know, as an indicator of whether you’re doing it right. And now that I’m an expert, I feel I should impart some knowledge on you, dear readers, so you know how to do this when it’s your turn. I’ll just cover the major takeaways that stuck with this mom-to-be…

It takes HOW LONG to breastfeed a newborn?

I realize now that my existence in this world will soon be nothing more than a boob feeding milk factory. Well, at least for the first couple of weeks/months of my baby’s life. Apparently babies eat 8-12 times per day and it takes 20-40 minutes to breastfeed PER BOOB!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let’s do the math on that. If it takes 40 minutes per boob to feed, that’s 80 minutes for one feeding. Then if the baby feeds 10 times in a day that’s about 13.3 hours a day…oh my gawd. That’s almost like packing two traditional 8 hour work days into one day!! So I’m going to have two full time jobs just feeding my baby and then there’s the changing diapers piece…

You know what, my husband may not have boobs, but he certainly has hands that can be trained to wipe tiny poopy booties and he knows where the trash can is. I can’t have two full time jobs and get sleep and blog all in the same day. I’ve just decided that he’s going to be on sole pop patrol. Like breastfeeding will be my personal bonding time with my ‘lil girl, wiping her ass will be Jeff’s.

Baby could fall asleep on the boob and all that nursing time doesn’t count!

Breastfeeding and boob nuzzling apparently becomes so soothing for babies that they can often fall asleep just sucking away but never swallowing. So basically, I can’t zone out watching an episode of “True Blood” and risk missing the cues that she’s not eating.  This could mean the past 40 minutes of feeding simply did not count. Sure, baby might go down for a nap, but she’s going to be up walling away for that food in much less time than she’s supposed to because she was never fully satisfied while I was swooning over muscley vampire abs.

Chart the poop color and consistency

Have you ever heard moms talk about how fascinating it is to discuss baby poop with other moms? I never understood that until now. Because for a newborn, the color and consistency of poop is an indicator of normalcy – and who doesn’t want their kid to be normal? Day one, poop should be yellow. Day two, poop should be white. I’m just kidding, I don’t remember what it is but I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to be white. And if it is – that’s not normal. But I guess I don’t need to worry about charting the baby’s poop since Jeff is the only one who will ever see it. Thank God for boob-less husbands with hands made for changing diapers.

Renowned medical associations recommend breastfeeding for 12 months or LONGER!!

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that you exclusively breastfeed for 6 months, but after that, they encourage you to continue breastfeeding with solid foods until 12 months or longer – if you and baby “are willing”. Now come on…mama is gonna want a margarita at some point – and maybe even get a lil tipsy for fun when I finally can! But hell, if I’m breastfeeding I have to walk a fine line with drinking alcohol and feeding the baby. Pump and dump.  But isn’t that a pain to sit there and pump for an hour just to throw it away! What a waste! So anyway, we’ll just see how this whole thing goes. I’m really going to try and I hope the baby takes to the process. Hell, I hope I take to the process because to a newbie it does sound mildly – ok insanely – uncomfortable.  The MOST exciting thing I’m looking forward to – that I hope is true based on what everyone says – is that breastfeeding will help me shed the baby weight faster. Here’s to hoping the fat comes off me like butter off a hot knife! (My real motivation rears its ugly head, oops!)

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5 Things you NEVER say to a pregnant girl…

April 21, 2011

As I get closer to my due date (less than 3 months now!), and I get bigger…and BIGGER, I find myself becoming more sensitive to the casual comments from other people about my weight, what I’m eating, and the like. I still don’t think people mean to be offensive or anything, they’re simply just making [...]

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Ay yi yi! Baby registry woes! Plus, check out my 24-week baby bump!

March 29, 2011

My anxiety over baby registering has proven to be warranted, because this stuff ‘aint easy kids! As you saw in Friday’s blog post, my friend sent me a really nice list of her “must have” baby gear to help get me started with the registry, but as I was in the weeds of it, I [...]

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