breastfeeding

Wedding hangovers suck, but I had a fun Mother’s Day weekend in Santa Barbara!

by Courtney on May 16, 2012

Happy belated Mother’s Day, mamas! Sorry for my late blog post celebrating the holiday, but I’m coming off of a pretty big weekend that included a MAJOR wedding in Santa Barbara. It was my friend’s wedding and I seriously cannot get over how over the top amazing it was. It was straight out of a wedding magazine — best wedding I’ve ever been to! Anyway, I had been looking forward to this weekend for months and was really excited that my parents were coming along to watch Annabelle while Jeff and I got to enjoy the two day wedding festivities.

I forgot how bad wedding hangovers suck

I was mainly looking forward to drinking lotsa wine and not being on baby duty until the next morning! So this mama indulged in a little too much wine both Friday and Saturday nights and UGH, holy hangover! I haven’t had a hangover since the day before I found out I was preggers (oops)! This was by no means in my top 10 or even 20 worst hangovers, but for a girl who barely drinks more than 2 cocktails in a sitting anymore, waking up at 2am with wine induced gut rot was hell on earth. Plus, now I have a baby waking up at 6:30am and wanting to nurse. Babies don’t care that mommy has a hangover. And of course it was totally annoying, but I had to pump and dump for the first time because I hadn’t nursed since 1:30 Saturday afternoon. Yes, I’m weaning, but no, I can’t go all day and all night without nursing or pumping. It was a sad realization that my increasingly aggressive weaning process is working because in that 11 hour span of time I only pumped 4.5 oz of milk. *Sad face* I used to get that in 4 hours! Yes, I felt melancholy knowing this is my doing, intentionally hurting my milk supply and all by nursing less. But hey, I’m not planning on being on the cover of Time Magazine breastfeeding a 4 year old or anything, so we’re winding down on the nursing.

Anyway, on to Mother’s Day… I don’t know what I thought Mother’s Day was going to be, like maybe spa massages and a chance to sleep ‘till noon, but that’s not how it all went down. I spent half the day driving home in a car with a bored baby crying her face off because she was locked down for 7 hours. Not exactly my idea of relaxing. I didn’t really expect anything specific to be planned for this past weekend because we were going to be in Santa Barbara and out of our normal routine, but idk, I hoped for something cute to happen. Jeff called me on Saturday when he was coming back to the hotel from an afternoon chugging beers with my dad, and he told me he was stopping by World Market to buy me a card. Ok, thanks for the surprise. Then, on Sunday in front of my girlfriends who were also attending the wedding, he gave me my card with $9.50 in it. Don’t ask me why, but I think he thought it was funny. And to add insult to injury, he later took the $9.50 back! Whatever, I guess our trip to Santa Barbara was my Mother’s Day gift. Jeff later told me after a hint of a complaint came out of my mouth that the new diamond rings I’m wearing that I got for my birthday are also my Mother’s Day present. Wait, now how long is he going to use that line??

Anyway, in all seriousness, it was really cool that I got to spend Mother’s Day with my own mama this past weekend. Can’t remember the last time I got to do that since living in Cali and she’s in Indiana. It’s funny, even though this was my first Mother’s Day; it still very much feels like my mom’s holiday. I can’t believe I’m someone’s mama! Last year Jeff took me to a Mother’s Day brunch on Sunday, which was really sweet and felt special since I was 7 months preggers. This was me this time last year…

What I learned from this past weekend is that 1) My two drink maximum is for my own good — hangovers can suck a d*ck. 2) I’m going to blow my husband’s socks off for Father’s Day so he takes notes for 2013 Mother’s Day… 3) My mom is just as good of a grandmother as she is a mother!

Happy Mother’s Day to my super supportive, awesome mama, and to all of you other mamas out there!

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I need to stop being such a baby about weaning my breastfed baby

by Courtney on April 19, 2012

Today on my train ride home from work we had to stop for an extended period of time because we had “police action” in the actual train car I was in. Some jerk off was listening to his music extremely load — sans head phones. Rap music blaring from a cell phone is off the chain obnoxious. If nothing else, the sound quality just murders a perfectly good Biggie Smalls song circa 1997. On top of that, he was bullying a passenger and he smelled like a big ole pile of skunky pot. The dude needed to go. But when the cop tried to take care of things calmly the guy had to sit there and stand his ground throwing F-bombs all over the place. DAMN IT! As this is going on, I’m just sitting there stirring…boobs cramping. I needed to get home to my baby ASAP! I wanted to say: Hey punk, stop wreaking havoc on my train – my boobs hurt!!               

Weaning is hard on the boobies

This week I cut out my last pumping session of the work day, so I am now officially pump-free. Halle-FREAKING-lujah!! But you know what that means? By the end of the work day my boobs are killlllllen me!

I’m starting the weaning procecss a little more aggressively than I have been doing. I feel like I’ve been slowly weaning, cutting back on nursing/pumping since January, but now I’m trying to get down to just morning/night nursing sessions for a while before I officially stop. Idk, I could stop in a month or maybe slowly phase out the final 2 sessions by 12 months. I just don’t wanna be tied to it forever and ever. Little girlfriend is almost 9 months old and she practically has a full set of teeth (4 top, 4 bottom!) that can sometimes hurt the mama! Originally I had only planned to nurse for 6 months, so I feel good that I’ve gone this long. Anything after 6 months to me is just gravy… icing on the cake.

But gosh dang it, I feel freaking sad about it.

It’s understandable, right? I mean, nursing has been one of the most consistent things I’ve done in the last 9 months — more than showering, brushing my teeth, and eating! The only thing I’ve done more than nurse is going to the freaking bathroom!!! It’s weird to not do it like I used to, and to eventually not do it at all. I’ll miss the closeness that nursing brings with Annabelle the most. At her age, she wants independence. She doesn’t want to be curled up to mama in a cradled position. But when I feed her, she’s just as much my little baby now as she was 6-9 months ago. She often falls asleep in my arms and looks so angelic in sleep, that I just sit there and hold her instead of putting her to bed like I should!

As much as I’m relieved to not be pumping at work anymore, I even somehow miss midday pumps. I miss the “me” time while at work. I read the entire Hunger Games trilogy while pumping! I miss bringing home milkies for my baby to take to “school” the next day. I miss it all, even though I’m still nursing about 3 times a day.

Courtney, get over yourself

Essentially, I just need to get over myself. This is way harder on me than I think it’ll be on Annabelle when we finally stop. Some may say I should just keep on going if I feel this way…if I’m not ready. But really, am I ever going to be ready? To me, I guess it kind of means that Annabelle is growing up and soon she won’t be considered a baby anymore. I don’t plan to nurse a toddler, so I might as well get the process going. This way I can wean slowly and still close up the milk shop by one year.

The one silver lining about weaning totally is that I’ll FINALLY get to enjoy more than 1-2 cocktails in a sitting. I can get drunk for the first time in a year and a half! Whahoo! Holy hangover!

Any good weaning tips from mamas out there?

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Trying to figure out this whole “feeding solid food to a baby” business

by Courtney on March 26, 2012

I feel like I’m falling behind in the feeding solid food to my baby department. Sort of like I’m the last mommy on the track running in the solid food race. Am I feeding her enough? Am I feeding her the right foods at the right stage? Is my fear of Annabelle choking on lumpy food causing me to hold her back from trying more things? Probably not. Not sure anymore. And YES are the answers to my own questions. And when I hear about other moms feeding their babies homemade soups and tofu at 8 months I’m sitting there thinking: MAMA MIA! Somebody tell me how I’m supposed to keep this baby on track with all the other super eating babies and their super proactive mommies!

When Annabelle was 4 months old our pediatrician gave me the green light to start her on solids. Some mommies in my mom’s group seemed super eager to get their babies started on this next phase, but not me. I wasn’t looking for another thing to add to my plate. I already felt like nursing every 3 hours was enough to make time for each day, and now I had to remember to incorporate solids in the middle of all that! But anyway, I started buying a few Gerber baby food jars at the grocery store and Little Miss was like, totally disgusted with it.

…That was until I got the Baby Bullet and fed her fresh, homemade avocados for the first time. Suddenly, Annabelle was thrilled to pieces over this yummy, creamy green substance being spoon-fed into her mouth. She was kicking her legs, literally making an “MMMMM” sound and opening her mouth for the spoon with pure glee! It was so freaking cute! From there, I’ve made apples, bananas, sweet potatoes, pears, peas, carrots, blueberries and oatmeal, squash and banana combo, zucchini, and asparagus. I’ve also fed her cottage cheese, which scares me somewhat because of the chunkiness of the food. But I know I need to get over that if I ever want her to eat real food!

I would say the fact that I’m making fresh, homemade baby food is definitely a plus. But I feel sort of stuck in the “first foods” area. I need to start combining foods, making things thicker, and introducing some crunchy treats like teething crackers. I fed her Cheerios the other day and I ate half of each one and sucked on the other half so it would be soft and moist before putting it in her mouth! Too much? I have this real fear of Annabelle choking and me forgetting what I learned in CPR class when the pressure is on!

Now we’re at a point where Annabelle should be eating 3 solid meals a day and this is where I feel like I’m really falling behind. At daycare, I give them 2 solids to feed her during the day but I’m lucky if I can feed her a solid in the evening before it’s too late and she’s sleepy and just wants to nurse and go to bed. On the weekends when we’re on the go, I may only get one solid meal in her for the whole day! And then I have my husband in my ear saying he thinks we should be feeding her more – placing the seed of doubt – and then he says he thinks maybe it’s time to wean breastfeeding so she’ll eat more solids. I’m not sure if he realizes that milk – breast milk or formula – is still the primary food source for babies up until 1 year old. (At least I think that’s true!)

When solid foods don’t agree with your baby

Another complicated matter is recognizing when foods aren’t settling well with your baby. I introduced zucchini and asparagus last week and Annabelle has literally been pooping green EVERY SINGLE DIAPER for one week. Her poor bottom is red and raw from so much action down there and I feel so sorry for her. Other than Butt Paste to ease the pain and clear up the rash (not working yet!), how do I get the poop factory to slow down? I can’t take another poopy diaper!! Part of me wants to cut out all solids for a week to clear out her system but I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do either!

Ahhhh, this whole introduction of solid food in a baby’s diet is not all that easy and it’s not black and white. Everyone does it differently and at different paces. I just hope I’m not screwing up my baby’s chances at a successful life of eating solid foods in the future!

Any tips on what foods to offer a baby at 8 months, or how to end the endless pooping, or what clears up a raw butt the fastest? HELP!

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Torn on when to wean my breastfed baby (soon, never?)

by Courtney on March 1, 2012

This is NOT me & Annabelle, by the way!

As the decision on when to wean my 7 month old baby Annabelle from the boobie weighs heavy on my mind, I now understand why some women breastfeed their babies well into their teenage years. Hey, it’s tough to break that amazing bond you’ve developed with your baby since day one. Being your baby’s sole source of nourishment as they look up at you lovingly, and getting to cuddle with your little munchkin like no one else does has been a very special experience for me and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. To think I wanted to throw in the towel two weeks in because it was so painful in the early days!

But the reality is; I can’t nurse Annabelle forever. And I know many people choose to nurse a full year or more, but I had originally just planned on 6 months. Then it became 8-10 months. And I can see myself extending it longer after 10 months! I just personally don’t see myself going a full year and truth be told, I’m starting to want my body back. And here in lies the feeling of being torn. Do I decide to wean Annabelle for my own reasons, or do I let her wean herself when she’s ready and just keep going without an end plan in mind?

I hear a lot of moms say their little ones just weaned themselves, losing interest in nursing once they started eating solids. I wish Annabelle was one of these babies! But nope, she’s not. She still motor boats my chest when I’m holding her. If I have any exposed skin on my neck and shoulders she’ll practically give me a hicky trying to get milk from her mama! She just loves nursing! How can I turn that happy little face and thirsty girl away? I’d rather she turn away on her own so I don’t have to decide for her. I think this means I need to really ramp up her solids. I was slow to get AB into solids because she didn’t express interest and seemed disgusted when I put anything in her mouth with a spoon in the beginning.  But I know if I want her to wean from nursing I need to step that up.

Why wean if breastfeeding is still going well?

Some of you who chose to nurse longer may be wondering why I’m even thinking about stopping now if all is going well. Believe me, as I type that sentence out I’m asking myself the same question. But I do have a few reasons.

I’d really like to get my body back, for one. I really need to get to the gym through the week to make some positive steps towards getting in shape, but I feel like I can’t work out on my lunch break at work because I’m already away from my desk pumping twice a day. That’s another thing; I’m only working in the office 3 days per week and I’m getting busier and busier with my workload. Pumping is becoming a drag to fit into my busy days. I’ve noticed little by little that my milk supply isn’t what it used to be, and it can be frustrating at times to nurse her for 20 minutes and then have to give her a bottle on top of that to fill her up. I hate feeling inadequate to provide for my baby. Have I mentioned that Annabelle has 5 teeth and 2 coming in – that’s 7! Occasionally when she’s bored at the end of a nursing session she’ll clamp those teeth down on mommy and I’m starting to fear an impending bite. It’s only a matter of time before a real one comes. She always does it with a smile though, which is of course very sweet and cute, and it also makes it difficult for mommy to get upset with her!

I feel like all I’m doing right now is trying to convince myself that I have reasons to wean. I guess we all have our reasons and it’s really a mama’s decision when it’s time. In the end, weaning will probably be way harder on me than it will be for Annabelle. I never imagined I’d feel this way about breastfeeding. It’s funny how becoming a mother totally changes your perspective on things.

Any tips from breastfeeding moms on the best method to weaning?

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Traveling without baby — fears over separation anxiety and pumping around the clock!

by Courtney on January 8, 2012

Three months ago, when Annabelle was a mere two months old and I was suffering from social isolation on maternity leave, I decided to book a flight to attend my friend’s bachelorette party in Park City, Utah, in January. I know what you’re thinking; a bachelorette party in UTAH! How are we going to get drunk and watch strippers in Utah? Isn’t fun kind of a sin there? Well actually, we’re thinking more along the lines of partying with celebs at the SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL!!! How cool, right? I should be so excited to party with Ryan Gosling, right?

Well…actually, I’ve been anxiety ridden about this trip for weeks (maybe even since I booked it, oops!). When Annabelle was two months old, the thought of her at six months in January sounded like light years away — like she’d be halfway grown already! But now that I’m here, she’s still very much my wittle baby. And of course now I feel guilty about leaving her. I feel sad thinking she’s going to miss me, but she’ll have her daddy and my in-laws will be here helping out as well, so she’ll be well taken care of. The other day my friend asked me if I’ve called my doctor to ask about when babies experience separation anxiety. I’m all; THANKS A LOT! Now you’ve gone and put that thought in my head. Bring on MORE guilt, please! I Googled this and separation anxiety doesn’t start until they’re much older, so I think we’re in the clear. Hell, I’ll be the one with separation anxiety, not Annabelle. I mean, I even have it now two weeks before I leave!

Pump, pump, PUMP, repeat

This will be me in Utah, except I'll be drinking wine, not water

Another BIG source of anxiety for me: pumping around the clock on my trip. Back when I booked this trip, I didn’t think I’d still be breastfeeding anymore, so that was supposed to be a non-issue. Fast forward a few months and ta-dah, I’m still going strong with the breastfeeding! So now we’ve got a situation where I’m going to be on a girl’s trip, running around all weekend, and I somehow have to find time to pump five times a day! Now this is really freaking me out. How am I going to do this? It’s not like we’re going to be in our hotel room the whole time – or much at all. So am I supposed to just duck into the bathroom for 20 minutes to pump every few hours? Ugh! I so don’t want to lug my bigass electric pump into bars and restaurants all weekend.

Soooooo, I actually purchased a manual Medela breast pump this weekend, which is much more portable and can easily fit into a purse for discreetness. And so far, it works great! I’ve already used it a couple times and it works rather quickly, actually. I was thinking it would take forever, but it was about the same time as the electric pump, only my hand was a little tired afterward! But there are less parts than the electric pump, with less set up/take down. I just sat down comfortably on my couch and pumped away without tubes and cords plugged into the wall trapping me in my seat. It was only $35, so I definitely think it’s worth the money for quick, convenience pumping (definitely not for every day, multiple pumping sessions, though). This way, I won’t be stuck in a club with my boobs cramping up and me practically clawing at the door to get out so I can pump. I can go to the restroom and take care of business without searching for a plug!

Of course there’s one more foreseeable thing to deal with — bringing pumped breastmilk back home. If I pump while I’m out and about, I need to be able to get that milk in a freezer ASAP. Then, I need to transport frozen b-milk on the plane. Sounds like a hassle. Obviously, being on a girl’s trip means I’ll be drinking a bit more than normal because I don’t have to worry about getting my baby tipsy with my alcohol laced breastmilk. So that means I may have to pump and dump for the first time. This is heartbreaking. Throwing out breastmilk is like throwing away liquid gold!! I’ll probably cry for a minute.

So when I’m not anxious over leaving my baby home without her mama, and I’m not psyching myself up about how annoying pumping is going to be while on my trip, I could actually get excited about this! I know once I’m there I’ll figure it out and enjoy myself. And when I’m back home a mere three days later, I’ll laugh at how much worrying I did over this trip. But like any new mom would be, I’m nervous to leave my baby.

If any of you moms have tips or stories about traveling without your baby, pumping on vacation, etc., please add them in the comments section. I need all the advice I can get!

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Mourning breastfeeding while I’m still breastfeeding – when returning to work hurts your milk supply…

by Courtney on December 13, 2011

The thing that everyone warned me would happen finally did. One month after returning to work, my milk supply has taken a SUDDEN nose dive — and it literally happened this past weekend. When I say sudden, I mean up to Thursday of last week I was still pumping plenty of breast milk at work and literally clawing at the door to escape meetings every 2 ½ -3 hours so I can pump. My boobies would be in pain! And then Saturday rolled around and little Miss Annabelle started to get fussy on the boob. More like, she’d grunt and groan out of frustration, or at least that’s how it sounded. And instead of nursing for about 10 minutes on each side and popping off when she’s done, she’d literally hang on for dear life, gnawing away on my nips. For like, ever. Suck, suck, suuuuuuck. *groan*

Usually I’m just watching TV or Facebook stalking while nursing, and before I know it, Annie B. is all done.  But on Saturday, I noticed as she was nursing that she was literally thrashing around, kicking her legs and twisting her head in different directions tying to fight that damn breast milk out of mommy.  

Oh why doesn’t someone just rip my heart out right now. I never want to see my baby struggle – especially when it’s something that I’ve been able to provide for my little one so lovingly – and at times – painstakingly, for nearly 5 months. I survived ridiculously sore, cracked nipples, and the mind numbing pain associated with Vasospasm, in which I took Vitamin B6, hypertension medicine, and walked around with heat warmers AND wool breast pads stuffed in my bra for weeks and weeks in an attempt to cure my pain. But miraculously, at 12 weeks, all the pain just washed away. Nursing became a very pleasant experience. And even when I had cold chills shooting from my head to my toes due to pain, I always loved breastfeeding. No, I’m not a masochist, but my baby loved it, so I loved it. My favorite thing each day is scooping little Annabelle up and having our mommy/baby bonding time nursing. It’s the best.

So what happened? Why the sudden drop? Well, maybe it took about a month for my body to notice I’m not nursing as much as I used to since returning to work. I don’t know, but I’m back to having to supplement with formula. It’s funny how when you have a newborn and your milk hasn’t come in yet, you have to supplement with formula so your baby doesn’t wittle away to nothing. And then your milk comes in and you’re a one woman milk machine for months on end. And suddenly, you’re back to square one again, supplementing. It makes me sad.

Do I dry up or fight the drought?

Now I’m conflicted on what to do about this. Do I let nature take its course and let my supply drop little by little until I’m all dried up? Or do I start taking supplements and drink teas intended to increase my milk supply? I always said my goal for nursing was 6 months, and when I was in all that pain I said I’d be lucky to make it to 3 months. But now that I’ve made it through the dark time of nursing and it’s pain free and comforting to both my baby AND me, why stop now?

Welllll….I’ve been having anxiety over an upcoming out of town bachelorette party in January in which I’m going to be gone for 3 ½ days from Annabelle. What am I suppose to do about breastfeeding while I’m gone, pump and dump 5 times a day? YUCK! ANNOYING! That shit is like liquid gold, it would be heartbreaking to throw it out! But then again, how would I get it home? And to be honest, it’ll probably be laced with alcohol being a bachelorette weekend anyway! Weaning your breastfed baby because you have a bachelorette party to go to sounds so lame and selfish, but that’s not why I’d want to wean. I don’t particularly want to wean right now anyway. But I can’t nurse forever. At some point I have to stop. But I wanted to stop because Annabelle lost interest. I didn’t want to lose my ability to provide what she wants and needs before she’s ready…. I don’t want to see her struggle for that familiar place where she’s tucked into my arm and nursing away, nuzzled in and happy as a clam.

Annnnnd now I’m mourning my breastfeeding days while I’m still breastfeeding. I can’t even imagine the days where Annabelle eats from a bottle all day and I never get to nurse her to sleep again. It literally makes me want to cry because I’m so attached to her. Help, I need advice!

Any advice from breastfeeding moms? What causes a sudden drop in supply?

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Deep thoughts on projectile poop, breastfeeding, and anxiety over being alone with the baby!

by Courtney on August 23, 2011

Happy one month birthday to my baby girl, Annabelle! I can’t believe how fast time has flown by! It seems like just yesterday that I was in the hospital delivering this little cutie-pie and here we are, a month later! We’ve been lucky to have family in town for the last month helping out and giving us an extra set of hands so we can do other things here and there, like go on a date or run some errands. But as of today, we’re officially on our own – everyone is gone. :( And now I’m having anxiety about being alone with the baby for extended periods of time while my husband is back to work and traveling overnight. The morning and afternoon isn’t that bad being alone with baby, but it’s when we get into the early evening when she has her fussy time and she’s not napping and I need to make dinner, do some laundry – WRITE A BLOG POST – and she’s not having any of it!

“WAH! WAH! You better not put me down mama!!! WAH!”  – I imagine this is what her cries translate to.

I know every mom has to deal with this, but it just makes me nervous. Like, am I going to pull my hair out not being able to do much during the day other than hold, feed, and change the baby? Or will I feel horribly guilty for letting Annabelle cry it out a bit while I go to the bathroom, sit down for a meal, or take a shower? I don’t know how single moms do it, or moms of multiple babies!

Take cover from the…POOP! (Warning: TMI!)

Let’s talk about poop, specifically, projectile poop. We have a changing table in Annabelle’s room upstairs and then we’ve made a makeshift changing spot on our ottoman in our living room for convenience when we’re downstairs. But now we’re realizing this living room changing spot is a bad idea. At least three times this week we’ve had to clean projectile poop off our couch, SHAG rug (ew!), and Jeff’s shorts and legs from sitting right in front of the ottoman as he changes AB! She literally squirts shit out EVERY TIME SHE POOPS! And it happens like 3-4 times in ONE changing session. We’ve wasted so many diapers from thinking she’s done sharting and then she totally blows out a brand new diaper before we’ve even taped the second side of the diaper shut! So now, I sort of have to create a shield with the old diaper to catch the second and third coming of projectile poo that resembles split pea and sometimes butternut squash soup! This is a pain in the ass at 4am when I’ve just nursed her for 40 minutes and I’m so sleepy and just want to go back to bed! But, you know what, I love the little munchkin and she makes such cute little faces while pooping that I forgive her sharts.

The breastfeeding saga

Ok, so breastfeeding definitely gets easier than that first week, but I’ll be honest; it’s still a challenge for me. Sometimes it’s more painful than others, and for some reason, those painful times just happen to be at her 3am and 7am feedings! Ugh! At 4 weeks old, I think baby girl is going through a growth spurt, so she’s hungrier more often than the 3 hour schedule I’m trying to keep her on, and she wants to eat longer than 20 minutes on each side. That being said; I’m a little concerned because I don’t think she’s gaining much weight. She gained 12 ounces in one week in our last pediatrician appointment, so I thought she was well on her way to plumping up. Because of this, the doctor even gave me the green light to cut out the formula supplementing since her weight gain was going well. But then last week I weighed her and she weighed about the same as the week before! They say babies are supposed to gain about an ounce per day, so what’s wrong with this picture?? Is AB not getting enough breast milk? This is definitely frustrating because you try so hard to do this thing that is definitely a challenge and then you freak that you may not be producing enough milk! I’m going to call and make a lactation appointment with a consultant because I think I could use some tips on how to make this easier. AHHH! The breastfeeding saga continues…!

The good news is that I joined a mommy group and started it today. I’ll blog on that next because I think it’s going to be a life saver for me! There’s nothing like talking projectile poop, boob feeding challenges, sleep issues, etc. with other ladies that are going through the exact same things I’m going through! From here, mommy play dates will spin off and I’ll officially be in full on mommy mode with a packed schedule. I’ll need to go get a dry erase board for my kitchen wall to keep things organized! Oh, look at my life now!

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Mama Drama: Breastfeeding woes – more stuff no one ever tells you…

by Courtney on August 8, 2011

Milk drunk!

To continue on with the theme of my last blog of the stuff no one talks about after childbirth, let’s talk about breastfeeding, and the stuff you just don’t ever hear about…

In pregnancy, you read all about breastfeeding in baby books, magazines, etc. and for me at least, it became a big source of anxiety. Aside from the positive nutritional benefits of breastfeeding, I also read that it’s a great way to lose the baby weight, so I was totally on board with this! That being said; there was SO much written about it, that I started psyching myself out for it.

From the minute the nurses guided my baby girl Annabelle to my boob to breastfeed for the first time, I felt the PINCH when she latched on. I guess I did read here and there that breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt if you have the proper latch, but I didn’t think anything of it before it became my reality. But now that I was here, with a baby hanging on, I was like; WHAT THE EFF THIS HURTS SO BAD!! Yet, the lactation nurses and regular nurses all took a look Annabelle’s latch and they all said it looked great! So basically, that whole “it shouldn’t hurt if you have the proper latch” bullshit is just that – BUUUUULLLLLLSHHIIIIITTT!

My nips became raw in no time. My baby has a strong suck and it was killing me one feed at a time! I quickly began to dread the feedings. And that’s not good because you’re supposed to breastfeed your newborn every 3 hours – and the 3 hours starts at the beginning of your feeding. So if you feed for around 40-50 minutes, you only have a 2 hour window to get things done around the house – or go to lunch, get a mani, etc. – before you’ve got to put baby back on the boob and start the process all over again. It’s exhausting.

By day two I already had a blister from Annabelle’s improper latch! So every feeding she was making it worse and worse. It got to the point where when we’d sit down to nurse and she’d latch on I’d literally get chills starting in my head that would shoot down to my toes. It was mind numbing!! And it didn’t get any better when we got home. Thank god I had pain killers to deal with the afterbirth. Hey, pain is pain!  (P.S. The pain meds won’t harm the baby in case you were judging . :) )

One thing that every new mom worries about when she’s breastfeeding is whether her milk has come in. They say it can take 3-5 days before it comes in (in some cases, maybe more), and so all your baby is eating in those first few days is colostrum. This is really amazing super milk juice for your baby, but as I mentioned in my previous blog, it’s only enough to line the baby’s stomach. So what did Annabelle do nonstop in those first 5 days? CRY, CRY, CRY! She was so dang fussy and Jeff and I were at our wits end. I of course had my tearful breakdown in the bathroom that every new mom surely has – I was at a loss for what to do!

The in home nurse came out for her routine visit 2 days after we left the hospital on Friday and gave me the news I was dreading… Annabelle had lost more than 10% of her birth weight, going from 7 lbs 5 oz to 6 lbs 7 oz. in 4 days. The nurse recommended I supplement her feedings with a one ounce bottle of formula. I cried. I wasn’t crying about giving her formula, it was more the feeling like I was starving my baby because my milk hadn’t come in yet. I was afraid if she had a bottle this early she’d have nipple confusion and prefer a bottle – which is easier to extract milk from than a boob – and she’d turn her nose up to breastfeeding. When I saw Jeff feed her a bottle for the first time and she sucked away excited as all hell to be eating something EASY and free flowing I literally had a guttural reaction and cried harder than I ever had. Jeff was shocked by my reaction – and so was I. I felt like I wasn’t good enough. But this reaction also was a result of raging hormonal changes that new moms go through after childbirth!

I’d heard that drinking a beer and using a warm compress on your chest can help with your milk letdown, so I settled into the couch on Friday night and had my first beer since November and heated up my boobies with a hot rag. And guess what….my milk came in! Whether it was a result of the beer or it was just that time, I was thrilled to the max. The first time I saw milk on Annabelle’s chin when I pulled her away from the boob I was over the moon – I even took a picture!! I supplemented her feedings with that one ounce bottle after every feeding and by Monday Annabelle was back to her birth weight of 7 lbs 5 oz! I quickly learned that a well fed baby is a happy baby – and a sleepy baby! Things changed for the better rather quickly after this feeding change up.

Ways to relieve nursing pain

1)      Take a hot shower in the morning – or before a feeding – and that will help sort of numb your chest a bit.

2)      Drink a beer at night before her bedtime feeding. It relaxes you and warms you up.

3)      Find a good spot in your house with lots of pillows or a Bobby pillow that can help bring the baby to your boobs. Whatever you do, don’t slouch forward thinking your milk will pour out like a pitcher of iced tea! This is what I did and my back got so bad that I’ve already seen the chiropractor twice in the last 2 weeks!

4)      Did I already mention pain killers? At least in the first week (or two)! And then Ibuprofen should suffice after that!

5) *UPDATE* I just discovered Medelo tender care hydrogel soothing gel pads for your nips! They provide a cooling sensation after a feeding, which is great, because if you’re like me, your nips feel like they’re sunburned after a feeding! Plus, there feels like a medicated effect as well. Two days after using the product, my nipples are a lot less sensitive after a feeding. AWESOME!!

Two weeks later, I’m just learning to toughen up with the breastfeeding. There’s always that little sting at the initial latch, but as long as I’m supporting the baby well then I quickly get used to the feeling and the pain fades to a tolerable amount – especially if I have a distraction, like talking on the phone, watching TV, writing thank you cards, etc.

Why stick with breastfeeding if it’s painful?

A happy milk drunk!

Let me just say that I was on the verge of formula within a couple days because I couldn’t stand the pain. But what kept me going was the look on Annabelle’s face when she was nursing. She just looked so content and happy. I have fallen in love with her profile because that’s the angle I spend so much time looking down at during the day. She just looks so precious and this has become our little mommy and daughter bonding time every day. Despite the discomfort of nursing, it’s also my favorite thing to do with my baby. So my advice to new moms who plan to breastfeed is to stick with it and you’ll get past the initial pain and suffering! I’m not in the clear in a pain free zone yet myself, but I hear I’ll eventually get there and I feel like I’m on my way, so I’m just looking forward to that time!

I hope this doesn’t scare expecting moms who are reading this blog, but I just wanted to share my experience thus far and keep it real for you. As I’ve said; everyone says it does get better and so second nature that you do it in a snap and don’t feel pain anymore. You just have to get over the initial hump! So keep with it, mama!

If you breastfed, do you have any suggestions for getting through those early days of nursing?

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