I’m wondering if I should just throw the towel in on the whole blog thing now. I mean, when the hell am I going to find time to blog each week now that I’m the mom of two kids? Every time I think I’ve got a sleeping newborn and a clean, diapered, full, and happy toddler something changes the minute my ass hits the donut pillow. (More on donut pillows later.) Any free time I enjoyed as a mother of one has just been zapped by becoming a mother of two. It’s fine. I didn’t expect to be globetrotting like Kim Kardashian after a baby, or vacationing in Italy like Jessica Simpson. (P.S. I find celebrity moms and their magical free time annoying.) I’m a real mom of a two year old and a 3-week old baby trying to navigate this new life and it’s def a balancing act.
The last time we spoke I shared the birth story of my little man, Leo. He’s my little sweetie pie cuddle bunny. I’m so in love and, frankly, thrilled about the fact that I am. Let me just be super duper honest……..When I found out I was pregnant I really wanted another girl and was a little worried about how it would be with a boy in the mix. I know that sounds awful to admit but I just love love love having a little girl and I wanted another version of my sweet Annabelle. She’s easy and I’d heard lots of stories about how boys are rowdy handfuls and it made me nervous. But the minute they placed that little guy in my arms in the hospital my heart just expanded and made room for him and ever since I’ve been feeling this natural, euphoric high from that sudden burst of new love fairy dust. It’s truly fab. I totally get that special bond between a mother and a son already.
The first couple days after bringing Leo home were zombie days for sure. The little guy had his nights and days mixed up and he was up every hour and a half or so crying his face off. The only thing that would calm him down was throwing him on the boobie. But hellz, my boobies were about to fall off by day 3. It was starting to remind me of my breastfeeding nightmare in those early weeks with Annabelle where I had scabbed nips and wanted to run for the hills when it was near a feeding time. In fact, one afternoon I was feeding Leo and when I pulled him away from me he had blood on his face! Ahh! I gave birth to a baby vampire!! Breastfeeding isn’t as bad as it was with Annabelle, although there are times where the pinch is worse than others. Sometimes it doesn’t hurt and sometimes it feels like the little guy is giving me a freaking titty twister. *shivers at the thought*
Postpartum round two is much easier
I wasn’t looking forward to the postpartum days because I remembered the loss of dignity and general discomfort that came along with it, but I can honestly say that the second time around has been a breeze. I think your body just remembers what you went through the first time, plus you know what to expect, so it’s just not as jarring. That being said, I have been experiencing excruciating tailbone pain as a result of childbirth, which is common for women, but especially for women with a previous tailbone injury (hence the need for the donut pillow). You may remember me blogging about breaking my tailbone while house hunting back in March. I doubt that I broke it, but I severely bruised it by slipping on an icy curb while holding Annabelle and all of our weight came right down on my poor tailbone. It was debilitating and I had to complete my 65 mile bike marathon only a week and a half later! But the pain soon subsided after my race. Unfortunately, having to sit around and nurse my baby every three hours has not helped the pain go away; it’s only made it worse. Too bad tailbone injuries just take loads of time to heal and there’s no quick fix. Kill me now. No, really, please put me out of my misery.
Thank God Annabelle loves her baby brother! We worried about jealousy and bad behavior, but she’s been really great with the whole transition. She wants to hold Leo all the time and says “my turn, my turn!” when she’s ready. She sees me nursing the little guy, so she’s even lifted her shirt up and said “my turn, my turn!” Kids do the darndest things, don’t they?! I did notice in the first week that AB would get a little pouty when we told her no too much when she tried to play with Leo, so we’ve made it a point to include her as much as we can so she feels like she’s helping. It’s so cute because every morning that she sees Leo she says “BABY!!” and points to him. It’s like Christmas morning every day when she sees him and realizes he’s here another day. I’m grateful this has been a positive transition. Just watch this ridiculously adorable video of Annabelle holding her brother on the day we brought him home from the hospital. I die over the cuteness!
So far things have been going pretty well and little by little we’re getting out of the house and learning how to juggle family outings with two kids. Is life harder now? Heck ya! Do I miss the ease of life with one kid? Um…ya. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. These last three weeks have been the longest three weeks of my life, not because it’s been awful or anything like that, but I just feel like Leo has been around forever. I look forward to a time when our little guy can be content sitting in a room without being held or nursed, and a time when breastfeeding doesn’t hurt at all. But I’m just reminding myself that this is such a short phase in his life and I need to embrace it for all it’s worth before he grows up and doesn’t need mommy anymore. As I’m walking in circles around my couch trying to get him to go to sleep I keep getting flashing images of him as a young man about to get married. Ahh, it makes me sad! So I squeeze him a little tighter, kiss his little head, and do a few more laps around the couch and do my best to simply appreciate this time while it lasts. 🙂