I was reading an article recently in Redbook magazine where Ivanka Trump was announcing her second pregnancy and saying that for her, she feels like a better wife and mother when she works and pursues her passions. I can definitely relate to that in terms of having my own thing outside of motherhood and feeling like an independent woman making my own money.
Since I began staying home with Annabelle nearly three months ago, I’ve definitely struggled with losing that young professional part of myself that made my own money and derived confidence from my work experience and expertise. Not gonna lie; not making an income blows a big fatty. I hate watching every dollar I spend closely. I don’t want my husband bugging me about my purchases, m’kay. But all that being said; I have yet to feel like I’m missing out on something or that I’d be a better wife and mom if I was back at work. The first month or so I was home I’d see job postings pop up that made me wanna jump right back into corporate America. But as time goes by I’ve noticed that my inner career girl’s voice has gotten quieter and quieter in my head.
At a party this past weekend, I ended up having a discussion along these lines with another stay at home mom with two young toddlers. She was also a career mom who recently stopped working in corporate America to stay home and we both agreed that we don’t miss our careers or feel a pull to go back anytime soon. Even if you enjoy your job, you’re never just going to work carefree. You’re heart and half your brain is always with your kiddo at home. You have to balance the drive to work and the need to spend more time with your kid and you’re inevitably guilt stricken for not doing your best at one or the other. I know a lot of SAHMs who never returned to work after having a baby and some of them seem to yearn for more. They love being with their kids, but they miss their old working girl selves and they cling to the expectation that they’ll eventually return to work when the time is right. Personally, I spent so much time at work wondering what Annabelle was doing at that very moment, or fearing that she was hitting milestones while at daycare and not with me, that I appreciate this precious time at home with her and I don’t have that pull to leave her again.
I had a nice budding career for the last ten years and I’ve had some awesome career highs and some sucky career lows, and let me tell ya; I don’t miss the stress and anxiety that comes along with busy work schedules or shitty bosses. I feel so blessed to have this opportunity to spend so much quality time with my daughter that truthfully, I never thought I’d have. So I don’t miss the ole working girl or the corporate grind for one minute.
…But I do miss them paychecks!
Baby bump watch continues – week 17!
Last week I was questioning when my baby bump would officially “pop” and I think it’s def on the verge of poppin’! Jeff thinks I’m finally starting to look pregnant this week, but I wouldn’t say it’s an unmistakable baby bump quite yet. Some days and in certain outfits it looks bigger than others. We’ll see how it looks this time next week!
The baby is growing quickly, now weighing 5 ounces and 5 inches in length. When you hold your fingers up to show 5” I feel like the baby is definitely becoming biggies, or at least finally becoming big enough to start looking like a real baby in the womb. I just keep waiting for the baby’s first kick any day now. I think Annabelle kicked around 19 weeks, but every baby is different. We’re getting closer to gender reveal time with only 3 weeks to go (actually less than that!)! Any guesses to whether it’s going to be a boy or a girl? I wish I was having a mother’s intuition giving me a feeling one way or another, but I don’t. But I will say, I think I’m having a girl……or a boy!