Last week I read that at about 20 weeks I’ll begin the process of gaining about a pound a week for the rest of my pregnancy. And boy I’ll tell ya; it’s amazing how overnight you can suddenly kick it into high gear with the preggo weight gain. Before you know it, you’re suddenly sporting the “cutest” set of chipmunk cheeks and your inner thighs are now getting very familiar rubbing up against each other with every step you take.
I remember seeing a pregnant picture of Penelope Cruz and zeroing in on her thighs that looked thunderous, which conflicted with her usual tiny self. I was thinking; “WHAT! Why do pregnant women suddenly grow a mean set of thunder thighs in pregnancy? And why do their faces get fat? How is that even fair!!?” Up until 20 weeks I was relishing in the fact that my face hadn’t added much weight at all. I still looked like me. But in my 21-week bump watch shot I took a front facing pic and suddenly, staring back at me where newly acquired chipmunk cheeks. AHHH!! You snuck up on me you sneaky bastard cheeks! And these thighs have GOT TO GO. And go they will (I’m sure)….but not before they get bigger and prevent me from crossing my legs in the coming weeks. I can’t tell you how DEADSEXY I feel.
So I called my mom the other day to complain about my chubby face and thighs, annnnnd of course she had to bring it back to my baby. “Oh Courtney, don’t worry about it. This is all preparing you for your baby girl.” Oh good mom, gimme a freagin’ guilt trip why dontcha. And if possible, I’d prefer to walk, not drive. (Gotta burn off these thunder thighs!)
A changing self image…
I know this is all part of the process, but it definitely changes how I’m used to seeing myself. When I walk around the house in my husband’s baggy sweatshirt, sweatpants (mine, not his!) and slippers, I’m aware of myself just shuffling along — waddling — and holding my lower back in pain. When I’m at the gym working out, I feel the stares as people watch the “cute little pregnant girl” walk by with her baby bump in toe. I remember I used to stare at pregnant girls at the gym like I was at a petting zoo. I thought; “good for her, but why the hell would a pregnant girl come to the gym? Shouldn’t she be enjoying 9 months free of working out and eating whatever she wants?? (This used to be my perception of pregnancy!) When I’m in bed and have to pee like 4 times in the middle of the night, instead of raising up in bed, which is nearly impossible considering my lack of abdominal muscles these days, I roll to my side and just roll on out of bed! As I amble along, I hear myself making little huffy and puffy noises due to lower back pain from lying in one position too long. So ya, I’m not the cute girl anymore — I’m the cute little pregnant girl now. I don’t get checked out on the train, and if someone gets up to give me their seat, it’s not because they think I’m hot – it’s because they think my ankles must be killing me!
What I’m saying is; I guess we all have to just surrender to the process and not fight it. I need to learn to embrace my chipmunk cheeks and uni-thigh because it’s just a daily reminder that my baby girl is on her way! I’m not really concerned as much about the numbers on the scale anymore as I am about just feeling good about myself during this metamorphosis into motherhood. Pregnancy definitely humbles you and you have to learn to find confidence in other things besides looks or being a hot to trot fashionista or something superficial like that! But honestly, aside from never being chubbier, I’ve also never been happier, more excited, and more fulfilled in my life. So I guess there’s a little trade off. The thunder thighs shouldn’t last a lifetime — just a few more months! I can deal with it…I guess. 🙂
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