March 2010

People, wake up! STOP SMOKING CIGARETTES!

by Courtney on March 30, 2010

I stood behind a man smoking at a crosswalk today, and it made me really mad. It’s not because the smell of cigarette smoke has become utterly foreign to me in the state of California and I’ve become accustomed to fresh air. No. It’s because today my dad’s best friend died of lung cancer, and this man in front of me was enjoying his cancer stick a little too much for my taste.

I just can’t understand it.  As much as we know about the dangers of cigarette smoking, why do people continue to puff away? I get it for generations passed, because they didn’t know then what we know now. But now we just know too much to ignore the plain facts: SMOKING CAN KILL YOU!

And the rebuttal; “Well if this doesn’t get me, something else will” is a total cop out. And it’s selfish. Because it’s not just about you; it affects everyone else around you, most importantly, your family. And your friends.

I know it must be the hardest thing ever for someone to kick the habit. It’s an addiction. And the condition wouldn’t have thousands of programs and reality TV shows dedicated to it if it wasn’t a serious problem. But the reality is; it’s possible to quit. In fact, thousands of people do it every day. So it’s about a choice.

My dad made the choice to quit in his ‘20s when he was a chain smoking soldier in Vietnam. He said he quit “cold turkey – the only way to do it”. My brother recently quit as he took up running and realized that running and being healthy doesn’t jive with sucking tar into his lungs 12 times a day. The list of success stories that I know of goes on and on.

But not everyone made the choice.  Or if they did, the damage had already been done. This is the unfortunate circumstance of Jon, my dad’s BFF and one of the nicest, sweetest men I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. I’ve known Jon most of my life and he’s one of those people that always had a smile on his face and a joke behind it. Let me emphasize; he was one hell of a jokester. If it wasn’t what he was saying, it was how he said it in that southern Indiana drawl that added the final effect to a well delivered punch line. I loved throwing back Bud Lights with Jon in the summertime, sitting on a picnic table behind his house in the southern town of Mitchell, Indiana, where most of my dad’s best high school buddies reside.  Sadly now, Mitchell will never be the same to me.  And it absolutely breaks my heart.

I wish everyone who curls that cigarette toward their mouth and takes a long euphoric drag could think about the very real scenario of leaving the party (of life) too early, while everyone you love is just getting their second wind. And you haven’t had a chance to do all that you wanted to do in life.

Don’t simply live in the here and now. You’ve got to make decisions that will impact your life in a positive way for the long haul. It’s never too late. I’m a firm believer that you can do anything you set your mind to. You never know what you’re capable of until you try. And try hard.

I just really needed to get that off my chest.

RIP Jon Allen. You will be forever missed.

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My “Us Weekly” birthday weekend

by Courtney on March 24, 2010

My So Cal friend, Ashley, and I have always talked about me coming down to LA and having an “Us Weekly“ weekend in which we hit up all the celeb hot spots that we read about in our fave goss mag! Of course being the Pop Culture Junkie that I am, this is right up my alley! So to ensure that my 30th birthday is forever engrained in my memory, my husband Jeff drove me down to LA this past weekend for one last birthday hoorah!

Needless to say; Ashley didn’t disappoint as we had Friday night reservations at one of the hottest celebrity hubs in Hollywood – the Chateau Marmont!

Act like you belong

Upon arriving at the shabby historic Chateau Marmont hotel, we were immediately ushered next door to Bar Marmont. Wait – whaaaaat? Perhaps they direct the “common folk” to the Bar next door so the celebs can eat their salads in peace. One thing we realized is that the name of the game around here is: “act like you belong”. So as we drove to the Bar valet Ashley’s fiancé, Jon, said; “We have reservations at BARMAMA”! To hear him flub the name as one word trying to sound French was the absolute funniest thing on the planet! As soon as we were out of site from the valet we died laughing! This still cracks me up!

Once inside, we were in awe of the Bar. It had the coolest ambiance ever with hip hop and jazz music playing in a gothic, darkly lit room, with candles and an open skylight. The meal and martinis were superb! Before leaving the restaurant we made a quick trip to the restroom where Ashley had to politely decline an offer of drugs from a fellow restroom attendee. You know you’re in LA when…you’re offered acid in the bathroom at dinner.

We made one last attempt to see the Chateau Marmont hotel but we were once again stopped dead in our tracks by the same woman with a clipboard in hand. She spoke to us in a French slash bitch accent and told us to come back tomorrow during the day when it’s less busy. As we walked away Jeff commented that he kept tripping on his tail between his legs. Of course I felt somewhat deflated as I was reminded of how ordinarily civilian I am, as in – not famous, so PISS OFF! Jon reminded us that at least we don’t have her job. YA, she can keep her silver clipboard. (P.S. We did go back and see it the next day – and we got in!).

Next up: bar hopping in Hollywood! At this point I texted my friend who’s a producer at one of the nightly celebrity magazine/news shows and asked him to take us to the celebs! He made sure to let us down gently by telling us there was not a chance in hell that we’d see celebs on a Friday night. Of course I’m thinking; F*CK, $HIT, DAMNIIIIIIT! But whaddya gonna do?

We spent the rest of the evening bar hopping between trendy little bars with velvet ropes and bouncers in black suits deciding on our entry fate. Being that we’re in the land of pretty and prettier, I had scary visions from a scene in the movie “Knocked Up” when older sister Debbie (in her late ‘30’s) tries to get in to a club and the bouncer tells her: “It’s not cause you’re not hot, I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can’t let you in cause you’re old as fuck. For this club, you know, not for the earth.”

Thankfully, I heard no such thing. I mean, I’m barely 30! C’mon!

Let’s go somewhere, like, really high profile

We woke up on Saturday morning to a gorgeous 80 degree day and OH F*CK, our reservations at The Ivy in Beverly Hills were in 20 minutes! NOOOOO!! Ashley called to see if there was a later reservation, and since God loves us, there was one at 12:45! Relief! We got all gussied up for lunch and headed down to the place where we swore we’d see at least one celeb lunching on the outdoor terrace.

This place is very interesting. It’s where you get a real sense of what it would be like living in Bev Hills. First of all, any time a person gets out of a car in front of the restaurant, walks up the steps, or enters a room – EVERYONE looks up. It’s because everyone is a possible celeb. This can really play on your insecurities. It’s truly the essence of where you go to “see and be seen”. And I’ve never seen more plastic and Botox in my life. Eeks!

The Ivy was utterly adorable in its French country décor with an endless array of fresh flowers on every table or ledge in sight. The food and drinks were stellar too and my husband even commented that this was the most memorable lunch he’s ever had! If I ever go back to BH, I will definitely return to The Ivy. But next time, I better see a freaking celeb – Hmph!

We spent the rest of the afternoon shopping around at big name boutiques such as “Kitson” and doing map of the stars! We saw Jennifer Aniston’s house, the Playboy mansion, Madonna’s “block”, and the creepy home where Michael Jackson died. We ended the evening dining and bar hopping in the laid back setting of Hermosa Beach.

On Sunday, after lunch and a super cute bike ride along the Hermosa Beach board walk (where we passed the original “90210” beach house) we were on our way home. AHHHH – what a weekend!

I’m glad I got to taste a slice of LA life. I can see how one can overdo it in Hollywood. I can see how one could overspend in Beverly Hills. But hell, it’s a badass place to visit!

You should know that despite all the dramatic blogging I’ve been doing lately about exiting my twenties, I’ve been having the time of my life in the past few months! This trip to LA marked the final event in a month long celebration that started with a surprise trip to Palm Springs to see Adam Lambert in concert, and a girl’s trip to Cabo San Lucas. This is one birthday that I will never, ever, forget. And it’s all thanks to my uber thoughtful husband, Jeff.

So it’s official; I’ve hit the big 3-0. The “dirty DIRTY thirty”! And TA-DA: life has never been better!

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Dear twenties: so long

by Courtney on March 17, 2010

What can I say? We’ve known each other for ten years now and we’ve had some great times. It’s been with you that I’ve had my pivotal years of maturity and growth. As much as I’m trying to tout this new chapter in my life called the “dirty thirties” as an exciting new place to be, I can’t pretend that I’m not going to miss you just a little bit. So before I leave you, I thought I’d give a proper goodbye.

When we met, I was an unabashed college student in Indiana with hardly a care in the world. I made some of my best friends to this day in that first year, learned how to live with 100 girls, and realized that the attitude “my way is the right way and your way is the highway” no longer works in this new setting.

With you, I graduated college and embarked on a new chapter into the unknown…the chapter of responsibility. I had my first job and quickly realized it’s not the right job. Then I had a job that was way over my head, struggled with the learning curve, and finally found my way.

A little more than halfway through our time together, I got married to my long time boyfriend, Jeff, and within a year, we shipped off to sunny California. I spent a year and half working in corporate retail where I thought it was going to be all fashion and glamour and realized it’s nothing but stress and overtime. It was here that I grew a set of balls, walked into my boss’ office and told her where this job could go. Ok, I didn’t really say that. But I told her I didn’t love it. And if I’m going to spend half my life at a job, I need to love it. And now, I love my job.

I became a mom to a beautiful red puppy named Indy and he’s been my pride and joy, or what I like to call my “training wheels” for the real mommy job! And in my final year with you, I entered the blogosphere and found that I have an intense passion for writing and creating this little space that is whatever I want it to be.

On my 29th birthday I got a little freaked out at the prospect of leaving you, because I’ve always seen you as the definition of youth. When I was younger, my mom would apply her makeup in the mirror side by side with me, and she’d look at me and say; “Courtney, I used to have eyes like yours.” I’d of course roll my eyes and complain that she needs to just accept getting older and aging! Ew! What a brat I was! But now I understand. Because now I have laugh lines — and like five gray hairs!

Turning thirty represents a whole new set of unknown chapters which will likely trump any challenge I’ve had to date; such as (God willing) having a baby, raising a solid kid, being a steady and reasonable mom, and balancing a career, family, and home. I’m excited for this next phase of my life and downright jubilant at the possibilities.

I’ve accepted the passing of my twenties now and learned to embrace my thirties with confidence and humor. Some people might say they were ready to kiss their twenties goodbye, like I might say I was ready to kiss high school goodbye. But I’ll always have a soft spot for the carefree, career newbie, bride to be, Midwestern girl gone Cali that was my twenties.

So long twentysomething. Hi thirty, it’s nice to meet you.

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A rainy girl’s trip to Cabo – highly recommended!

by Courtney on March 13, 2010

I think taking an annual girl’s trip is good for the soul. After spending five days in Cabo San Lucus, Mexico with three of my college sorority sisters I’m convinced that every woman needs this.

We spent time at the pool, the spa, the beach cabana beds reading books, dark restaurants with a lone candle lighting our table, and riding ATVs through the Mexico mountains. We had such a great time on our trip, but more than what we did, we had great conversations. We had a lot of laughs, and we listened to each other. In fact, I think our trip was hugely therapeutic.

I’ll be honest; this vacation didn’t go as perfectly as planned. My perfect Cabo vacation would’ve included full days lounging at the pool working on a glorious golden tan, eating at fancy dinners in the evenings, and hitting up cool little Cabo beach bars at night. Welllllll, it didn’t exactly go that way. It went something like this…

Vacation “hardships”

It rained two whole days – hard.

It was merely in the 70s and overcast the other two days.

We rode ATVs through cold rain and muddy mountains for 2 ½ hours. We had to pee outside leaning up against a trig. Twice.

We stayed at an all-inclusive resort – but couldn’t get a damn dinner reservation at any of the restaurants the entire vacation.

The one night we DID have reservations at the steak restaurant – it was closed due to rain.

We ate every meal (but one) at the same exact buffet. I’ve never eaten more onion rings in my life.

We only ate one dinner at an actual restaurant the entire trip.

The aroma that I smelled during my spa facial was sandwich meat. I kept wondering; why do I smell salami right now? Is that some weird Mexican facial lotion? No, I’m sure the girl just ate lunch and didn’t wash her hands before giving my face a rub down.

We had heartbreakingly beautiful weather – on the day we left.

As you can see, we faced some hardships on our Mexican vacation. But despite the weather or the shitty customer service at our resort, we made the best of the situation.

Making it work for us

Since it was cold outside and there was no outdoor hot tub, we improvised. We headed to our room, made a bubble bath (with jets), and we all put our feet in while drinking Tecate Light beer.

Despite the rain, we were determined to lie at the beach. So the four of us shared a covered beach cabana bed and read our books and napped in the rain. Hey, it was peaceful.

We couldn’t get a restaurant reservation at our very own ALL-INCLUSIVE RESORT, but the one restaurant we did eat at was memorable enough for all four nights. I had the best beef tenderloin and garlic mashed potatoes that you can even imagine and a salty good margarita to top it off. It seemed like we were the only people in this tiny little alley restaurant, which made it feel like a movie.

We hit the jackpot of music while bar hopping in Cabo one night. It was as if the DJs had borrowed our college CD mixes and played it just for us 29 going on 30 year olds! We danced like it was 2001 all over again.

On our one and only beautiful day at the beach (i.e. the day we went home), we lounged right next to actress Hayley Duff, Hillary Duff’s sister, and her actor boyfriend, Nick Zano. I know, I know, they’re D-list celebs, but nonetheless – celebs! She’s a lot prettier in person, by the way!

And on our last night, we had some crazy, weird, Willy Wonka, candy land experience at a bar called “The Office” in which we sat at a table on the beach and clowns danced around us making us balloon tiaras and about 100 Mexican waiters sang happy birthday to us while giving us machine gun hugs one right after another.  In the midst of all of this, we had philosophical conversations about our futures and what we’re most thankful for from our girl’s trip to Cabo – all over three bottles of champagne.

What I was most thankful for? I didn’t even have to think about it. It just spilled out of my mouth as soon as the question was asked and a finger pointed at me to go first. I said; I’m thankful for this trip because right now, I don’t have to be a wife. I don’t have to be a dog mama. I’m not responsible for a house or a job at the moment. Right now I’m just a girl sitting here with my friends on a beach in Mexico sipping champagne with a balloon tiara on my head. And at that moment, life was so sweet.

So we’re back to reality now and I’m a bit sad. I miss those girls! But we’ll always have our rainy girl’s trip in Cabo.

Do you still take girl’s trips as you get older and busier with relationships, kids, jobs, etc.? If so, I’d love to hear how you make it happen!

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Vacation anxiety – do you ever get this?

by Courtney on March 3, 2010

Sun tan lotion. Check. New bathing suit. Check. Supah fly new shoes. Check.

Yeeeees, Cabo is upon us. In a few hours I’m boarding a plane for five days of fun in the sun with my good ‘ole sorority sistas for our own version of a “Sex in the City” Mexico vacation! I’ve been looking forward to this vacation for so long and now that it’s only hours away – I’m having anxiety about it! It sounds strange, but I’m afraid it’s going to be over before it starts!

Does anyone else ever think like this? You look forward to something so much and within a blink of an eye you’re back at work slogging away on some poo that you don’t feel like doing, only daydreaming about your recent vacay. My dad always says; “It never seems like you’re on vacation, you’re just remembering when you were.”

Dang it! Cabo, don’t’ do this to me! Don’t be over before you start!

Just this past weekend my husband whisked me away for a *surprise* early 30th birthday getaway to Palm Springs! He was totally being the best husband on earth and got me tickets to see my fave new singer, Adam Lambert, perform live in concert (to read about my trip, go here)! I found out about the surprise (on the sly) two days before, and it seemed like one second I was wistfully telling an audience of co-workers where my husband was taking me, to recapping my weekend to the same peeps the very next second. I guess the saying is true; “Time flies when you’re having fun”. But at times like this, I wish time would just walk. Not fly.

Loose Cabo agenda

In Cabo we plan to spend a lot of time at the pool, namely, the swim up bar. We are headed straight to the spa for messages and facials at the first sign of a sun burn. And we plan to eat like there’s no tomorrow. Let me tell you, we love to chow down! Screw the salad! BRING US MEXICAN FOOOOOOOD! Back in Cancun circa 2001, we went to this restaurant (do you call it a “Mexican restaurant” if you’re in Mexico?!) and they were serving us an inappropriately small portion of chips and salsa, and no sooner than the bowl landed on the table we were asking for a second batch. After about five refills we were getting the raised eye brow look from our server. So ya, we like to eat. Nothing has changed. Only now, we can afford to eat at better places!

We’ll probably hit up a few bars at night, but knowing how unfortunately jet lagged our Midwestern/Southeastern chicas will be; we’ll probably be in the hotel lobby sipping pina coladas, rubbing our sore feet, and people watching most nights. It’ll go something like this; “Oh, look at her outfit! So cute! OMG, look at what she’s wearing – if I ever leave the house like the, slap me! You know, the usual shit talking girls do when they’re amongst friends.

Oh speaking of outfits (this was funny); one of the girlies in our group that I’ve nicknamed “Jetsetter” mentioned that she’s bringing a one piece jumpsuit thingy on the trip. Naturally, the rest of us immediately pictured some sort of J.Lo-esque ensemble. One of the other girls fessed up that the mere mention of Jetsetter’s “onesie” gave her anxiety!! She doesn’t want to compete with that! I don’t either. My Old Navy sun dress is going to look pretty churchy next to that!

So anyway, I’m looking forward to making new memories with my girls and having a book full of new vacation “quotes” that we can laugh about for years to come. I just hope time stands still on this vacay. And I want to prove my dad wrong. I want to be “ON VACATION” and know I’m there, not simply reminiscing when I was!

 Does anyone else get vacation anxiety? Or am I totally stupes on this one?

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